The momentous Extraordinary General Meeting was called for the 26th March, with nothing less than the entire future of the club at stake.

The players were on a revenge mission on the Saturday with a first-ever visit to Stafford Rangers' quaintly shabby Marston Road ground, with the hosts on a run of five straight home defeats. The wing-back system was back, Collins paying the price for Wednesday's strop, but it was Bridges not Brady at right wing-back and a hard-working midfield of Brown, Smith and Smith, Chilli replacing the injured Ademeno up front.

Rangers' direct hoofball style was as agricultural as their ploughed field of a pitch, but it worked on 20 as David McNiven beat Duncan to slot past Herbert to give them the lead. United knuckled down and responded on 42 with some route one football of their own, Page heading Stephen Smith's long throw on for Bridges to ghost in unmarked and snaffle an equaliser.

The U's had the better of an attritious second half, but a draw looked inevitable until three minutes from time when Christian Smith latched onto a half-clearance to lash home through a crowded box for the winner. Relief was unconfined. Was this finally the start of the amber clamber to safety?

Pride comes before a fall. United travelled to struggling Altrincham on the Tuesday confident of not only stretching their unbeaten record but notching another away victory. Purser replaced Robbie, suspended after one booking too many, and Brady came in for Pitt at left wing-back. A seesaw start saw the Robins take the lead on 22, Warren Peyton hammering an unstoppable free-kick into the top corner, and by half-time United looked in need of some inspiration from somewhere without their talismanic top scorer.

Look away now if you don't wish to read about something truly horrific. Although if you survived Histon, you can survive just about anything. It took Alty just twenty seconds of the second half to double their lead, Lewis Chalmers sliding home, and ten minutes later it was three, Duncan hauling Colin Little down for a penalty. Herbert did well to save the spot-kick, but Little knocked in the rebound.

Another ten minutes later, another Altrincham goal, this time from Joe O'Neill, and in all truth United, now playing 4-4-2, looked like conceding every time the hosts attacked.

JQ signalled their desperation by throwing Peters on up front in place of Chilli with a quarter of an hour left, and a couple of minutes later Chris Senior had made it an excruciating 5-0 after waltzing through the entire befuddled U's defence.

The final whistle was a merciful relief, but it signalled only that United were knee-deep in the demotional doo-doos.

Quinn described the performance as "totally unacceptable" and remarked upon his players' resemblance to a one-man team, collapsing rudderless without Robbie to lead them from the front. Loanees Brick Wall and Page extended their loans to 21st April (the maximum 98 days) and for one further month respectively as United endured a gameless Saturday because of the FA Trophy.

Next Tuesday more promotion candidates, York City, were the opposition. Robbie and Aidan replaced Purser and Bridges and United lined up with a muddled mess of a formation which oscillated between 4-4-2, 4-3-3 and 4-5-1 without looking convincing as any of them. Blast those coaching manuals.

Square pegs in round holes like Brady and Chilli wandered like lost sheep and the only surprise was that the Minstermen took 21 minutes to open the scoring through Craig Farrell. Clayton Donaldson's spectacular strike made it two on 33 and already the game looked over.

It was 4-4-2 for part two with square pegs still in place (Bridges wide right, Brady on the left, Stephen Smith at right-back). Two minutes from the restart it was 3-0, Jan Kovacs heading home unmarked from a corner.

Page somehow managed to hit the bar on 55, but eight minutes later it was Comic Cuts time in the United box as the hapless Brady miscued an attempted scissors kick clearance straight to Donaldson for the most embarrassingly easy of tap-ins. An honest trier like JB deserved better. Nine minutes later Donaldson completed his hat-trick with another simple goal, beating Herbert to a cross to head into the empty net.

A second consecutive 5-0 drubbing and a heaviest home league defeat since 1947. There can have been few U's supporters who could have put their hands on their heavy hearts after this horror show and expressed any confidence about their side's prospects of avoiding a second relegation in three years. Somewhere VH1 was airing a Bowie video: 'Blue Jean, I just met a girl called Blue Jean...'

The next day Page was recalled to concrete cuckoo land, his home club obviously concerned at the psychological damage that playing for this dismal U's side would do to the youngster.

Changes were needed, and in the next couple of days JQ made what turned out to be some unlikely masterstrokes.

First of all he secured the services of ex-U and local boy Dan Gleeson on loan from Notts County until the end of the season, then he showed that he was not afraid to make unpopular decisions by recalling Crichton from his Norfolk exile, preferring his experience although in all truth Herbert could shoulder very little blame for his team's slump.

Crane went back the other way, another loan youngster was also secured in the form of Crewe's defender-cum-midfielder Chris Flynn (pictured) for a month, and more work was found for Quinn's sports psychologist chum Tom Busham.

Next challenge was another relegation six-pointer at Crawley. Six changes were made to the team, with Gleeson and Flynn as wing-backs, Mark Peters back from injury and Rob Wolleaston selected for the first time since 10th February in midfield alongside Brown and Bridges.

The transformation was immediate and remarkable as United passed the ball around with purpose, determination and no little style. Bridges hit the foot of the post inside four minutes, but the U's had to wait almost forty to break the deadlock as Robbie Simpson galloped onto Wolleaston's header on to slot coolly home. He'd done it again.

Crawley introduced Marcus Richardson ten minutes into the second half, but it was another ex-U, Tony Scully, who became chief tormentor with a series of wicked crosses which United somehow managed to repel. When five added minutes were indicated it looked like the U's must hold on and an exhausted Peters was replaced by Aidan Collins. Within a minute Scully had pumped a ball into the box and that man Richardson had guided a heartbreaking header past Crichton for a last-gasp equaliser. Fair result overall, but still a punch in the guts. Time was beginning to run out as the U's continued to hover just above the trapdoor.

On the following Tuesday, 'Brick Wall' was recalled by Port Vale, only to be immediately loaned out to United's next opponents, Northwich Victoria. Tommy Jaszczun confirmed his retirement, unable to cure his foot problem, while Brady was loaned out to Kidderminster now that Gleeson had slotted so comfortably into a wing-back role with which JB had never looked entirely at ease.

Young striker Craig Hughes signed on loan from Colchester while the club announced its intention to arrange some ties with Cambridge Rugby Club. Black and amber stripes for me, please, perhaps with an amusing moose logo at the bottom.

If, on the morning of Sunday 25th March, you had come out and said that for United good times were just around the corner, chances are that you would at best have been laughed at, if not committed to a secure psychiatric ward. Hosts Tamworth were still below them in the table but had about 30 games in hand thanks to their FA Trophy exploits. Brick Wall debuted for them, while for the U's Pitt returned from suspension to replace Bridges, permitting Flynn to move to midfield.

The visitors got off to the best possible start when the double act struck again, Chilli setting up Robbie to breeze through and stroke home for 1-0. Chilli doubled the lead on 24 with a header from Wolleaston's cross, and the amber hordes were in dreamland as their side dominated the first half from start to finish. A subdued Brick Wall was withdrawn just six minutes into the second, but it made little difference as United hung on with ease.

Then it got even better. Ten minutes from time Robbie smashed a glorious 20-yarder for 3-0, and he completed his own personal hat-trick five minutes later after rounding the keeper. Yes, the Vics had been poor, but United had made them look that way with a tremendous all-round team performance. Hope sprang eternal once again.

The feelgood factor continued into Monday evening at the EGM when all of Paul Barry and co's resolutions were passed despite some of the old, failed guard's reservations, and a new era dawned at the Abbey. Could it get even better? Well, yes actually...

Saturday's Abbey visitors were Weymouth, in decline after a splendid first half of the season as they were forced to tighten their financial belts. Flynn's brief spell in amber was ended by injury, replaced by Stephen Smith, but no further changes were necessary. Once again an early goal helped enormously, Pitt setting up the revelatory Gleeson for a tap-in on 6, then four minutes later Chilli notched United's second from a Morrison cross.

There was no hint of sitting back from a U's side firing on all cylinders, allying skill and teamwork to a hard work ethic. On 18 it was 3-0, a magnificent Chill strike into the top corner capping a superb and unlikely comeback for the local boy. And Robbie got in on the act twenty minutes later with a tremendous, battling fourth for his side. United had last scored four goals in the first half of a game against Scunny back in 1989.

Weymouth tried desperately to respond in part two, but it was 5-0 on 63 when a marvellous Wolleaston break set up Robbie for his second. Five minutes later it was six, a typical dancing Pitt run and cross backheeled nonchalantly home by Chilli for a well-deserved hat-trick, the second United player to do so in consecutive games.

Ten minutes from time Jordan Collins joined his brother on the pitch to become the first United siblings together since the Middleton twins in '95, and soon afterwards another buccaneering run from the transformed Wolleaston set up Smith for a rollicking seventh.

It was United's biggest win at the Abbey since February 1970, and the whole day had resembled nothing so much as a wonderful dream. And who would have dreamed of that a mere eighteen days previously when they were getting slaughtered like Bernard Matthews' chickens by York on the very same pitch?

Andrew Bennett

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