Match: v Histon - FA Trophy Round One

Date: Saturday, December 16th 2006

Result: Histon 5 Cambridge United 0

THE JOURNEY

Departure Time: 10.15am! Well I did have the broadcast kit with me to set up and it's rather heavy to have to carry far!

Arrival at Ground: Although the journey was straightforward enough, I was a little disappointed with the lack of convenient service stations en route, which meant the obligatory mid-morning coffee had to be postponed. But there were no hold ups on the A14 - a phrase not often used - and I arrived in good time to get in the car park behind the goal. I say 'car park' although overnight rain had turned its entrance into something resembling the Somme with those drivers able to get in it risking trench foot as they went to and from their vehicles.

Slightly less early arrivals made good use of no fewer than four official car parks, while the side streets filled up quickly.

My arrival coincided with that of a mobile police station (a complete coincidence I assure you). Unusually, this was in the form of a converted double-decker bus, although its transformation had removed some of the traditional features so that even if you had been waiting ages for it to come along there wasn't another one following almost immediately behind.

AT THE GROUND

The Ground: There are plans to upgrade the facilities, and they will certainly need upgrading if and when Histon make the step up to the national division of the Conference. In the meantime it seems to be a case of make do and mend; an approach typified by the small army of volunteers nailing and stapling things to other things before the turnstiles opened.

A small stand was in the centre along one side of the pitch, with steps leading up to the front and a bar area behind glass at the back. Either side of this stand were flat areas of tarmac sporadically occupied by temporary buildings and the tented awning of a club shop that would not have looked out of place in a Bedouin encampment.

There was flat hard standing on the three remaining sides of the ground, each with a small central covered section with slightly slippery, metallic mini-terrace steps.

United Fans: There were a couple of thousand sponsored balloons and an impressive amount of tickertape to welcome the teams. Also, a significant number of toilets appeared to have been raided of their entire stock of toilet rolls, which were thrown 1970's fashion (we were good then weren't we?) when the teams came out. Unfortunately, one or two United fans used them to throw at Histon players, resulting in a warning about missile throwing.

Many left after the third goal; the rest probably wish they had too. It was all too much for one U's fan who went onto the pitch to make his point to United players after the fifth goal, and another who threw his scarf angrily on to the pitch. This provoked another tannoy warning, an on the spot fine for the pitch invader and, depending on whether any of the match officials make mention of it in their report to the FA, a possible fine for United.

View from Away End: The view was OK if you managed to get to the front, but was poor otherwise... this may not have been a bad thing on this occasion.

Home Fans: Despite this being arguably their greatest day ever, they were surprisingly subdued. Perhaps they felt sorry for us, or they were just too embarrassed by the ease of their victory.

Police/Stewards: Although there were plenty of stewards in the ground, it seemed that none of them spotted the lone pitch invader and it took long minutes before members of the Constabulary got round to removing him. It was perhaps just as well that his incursion was so that he could vent his spleen rather than for any more malevolent purpose.

Programme: £2 for 52 full colour pages, including a glossy cover.

Food/Drink: Catering was dispensed through hatches cut at strategic intervals in the wooden fence that surrounded the three terraced sides of the ground. As the queues built up they looked increasing like soup kitchens of the depression-era.

State of Toilets: Groups of blue portaloos in each corner of the ground made it look as through the Glass World Stadium was hosting a Dr Who convention.

AFTERWARDS

The Journey Home: Well, I suppose this year's FA Trophy debacle was marginally better than last year when we had to go all the way to Dorchester to be embarrassingly dumped out of the competition by Conference South opposition.

Mileage: 21.9 miles

Total Distance for Season: 2,875.4 miles

Mark Johnson, with additional reporting by David Gray, Paul Johnson, Ryan Johnson and Gordon McMillan

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