Travellers' Tales v Tamworth

Match: v Tamworth - Nationwide Football Conference

Date: Saturday, March 11th, 2006

Result: Tamworth 1 Cambridge United 1

The Journey

Departure Time: 10.15am

Arrival at Ground: A straightforward enough journey was broken briefly by a stop at Corley Services where we encountered three United players, presumably planning to meet up with the team bus. From there it was but a brief hop to the ground, where we arrived at about 12.15pm.

At The Ground

The Ground: The Lamb Ground would certainly need more than a little work should Tamworth move any higher up the football pyramid but, with an increasing trend for venues to look identical, the Lamb is none the worse for being full of character.

Set between terraced houses on one side and an indoor dry ski slope on the other, the stands that enclosed an undulating pitch were all of the low-rise variety which made it all too easy to larrup the ball out of the ground; an event that happened with alarming regularity. One wondered how many of them Tamworth managed to retrieve on any given Saturday but, given that the club were still in business, it must have been a decent proportion.

The one area of seating was a newish stand that ran from level with the edge of one penalty area to a similar position at the other end. Six rows of comfortable plastic seats filled this stand. The area to the right of this stand was left empty, except for turnstiles that were covered by pointed roofs that would have looked like garden sheds had they been unpainted. However, as a lick of paint had been applied, they more resembled beach huts.

A collection of buildings was to the left of the stand. These housed the catering and toilet facilities and were fronted by planks that made a narrow, three-step terrace supported by scaffolding.

Continuing clockwise around the ground: beyond the scaffolding the away section was behind the goal. With empty areas either side, this was a four-step covered terrace. Brick built, the rear three quarters of the stand was split into seven distinct bays that gave it the air of a bus station. All that was missing were boards showing the bus numbers departing from each bay... and the buses of course! United fans wishing to sit were able to pay £2 to transfer to a block of seats at the left end of the main stand, but this option was not widely advertised.

After another turnstile block in the corner, a tin-roofed low terrace ran along the other side of the pitch and was similar in length, and position, to the main stand it faced. The dugouts were in front of this stand, and I was a little concerned about their usefulness given that their roofs were no higher than the advertising boards that ran along the front of the terrace. They must have lived up to their name though, and been excavated to quite a depth, given that they managed to accommodate a United bench that included Fola.

The advert-covered white wall of another catering outpost completed that side of the pitch and led to an open terrace behind the remaining goal. Similar in style and size to the away end at Gravesend, a wide, flat area ran between the red corrugated fence and the back step of the terrace. The reason behind the width of this area became clear before the match when cars drove along it to a parking area.

Miscellania: There seemed to be a rift in the space/time continuum when the teams ran out, as I'm sure I heard 'Fanfare For The Common Man' being played over the tannoy.

United Fans: A good turn out for another new ground; the travelling faithful were extremely vociferous at the start, but quietened as the game wore on.

View from Away End: Not too bad from behind the goal, while the view from the seats - the back row of which doubled as the away commentary area - was excellent.

Home Fans: I don't know about mad cows, Tamworth seemed to have an outbreak of Mad Lamb disease. Tamworth's Lamb mascot was absolutely bonkers - the most hyperactive mascot I can recall seeing. He did just what a mascot should do, which is to encourage the home fans to get behind their team. Whether there's a chapter in the Mascots' Handbook about climbing on the perimeter wall and banging on the roof is open to some debate, but it certainly had the desired effect - the Tamworth fans were loud for much of the match.

Stewards: The signs were not good when we arrived in the car park. Despite being in possession of a car park pass which had been sent to United by Tamworth FC, an officious steward informed us, in the face of all the evidence, that they didn't normally allow away officials into the car park, and there was considerable debate before we were finally allowed to park.

That unfriendly reception was in contrast to the warm welcome inside the ground though, where the club officials and stewards could not have been more accommodating.

Amusingly, worn around the neck of each of the match day staff was the largest staff pass in Christendom. A laminated card, one can only imagine that it had to be A5 in size as the club employed a posse of myopic staff pass inspectors.

Programme: Also A5 in size, the programme contained 42 colour pages. With loads of adverts, articles were mainly snippets to make best use of the remaining space. The squad lists on the back page suggested that Tamworth could call on some important people, with Mark Cooper listed as 'PM' and Richard Dryden as 'A PM' - I wonder if Tony Blair and John Prescott know!

Food/Drink: Although there were the standard items on the menu (tea, coffee, hot chocolate at 60p) and chips (£2), there were a number of items you don't normally find at football grounds such as a sirloin steak or pork and stuffing bap (£2.50).

State of Toilets: In keeping with the ground, the facilities were small but generally clean.

The Numbers Game

Mileage: 221.4 miles

Total Distance for Season: 5,600.7 miles

Mark Johnson, with additional reporting by Paul Johnson, Gordon McMillan and Doug Shulman

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