Travellers' Tales v Histon
Match: v Histon - Blue Square Premier
Date: January 1st, 2008
Result: Histon 1 Cambridge United 0
The Journey
Departure Time: I left at 12.20pm, but others left at a more sensible time... mind you, they weren't working so could afford to saunter along when they felt like it!
Arrival at Ground: Despite the inclusion of a short section of the A14 in the route, it was an easy enough journey - albeit one that was a little short on convenient service stations at which to stop for a pre-match meal... not that this was necessarily a bad thing given the gluttony of the preceding days.
Shortly after arriving, I saw the extraordinary sight of a stretch limo trying to squeeze into an already packed car park at the ground. This vehicle must have been made almost entirely out of elastic given its almost supernatural ability to get through a gap that seemed to be narrower than the vehicle itself.
The remaining members of the Travellers' Tales corps also arrived fairly early, not in that stretch limo I hasten to add, and parked in one of the many car parks by about 1.20. The turnstiles had opened by 1pm so, having been wished a happy New Year by the turnstile operator, they went in and got in position well before 2pm. It was probably just as well we did as otherwise they might not have seen very much.
At The Ground
The Ground: Between a recreation ground, a Leylandii hedge and the eponymous bridge, Histon's Bridge Road ground had undergone a couple of changes since our visit for that FA Trophy match we don't mention!
The most notable change was along the side of the ground that faces you as you approach along the entrance road. Here, the seated area had doubled in size thanks to a new stand that butted up against the old Main Stand. In addition to a decent number of seats, this new construction also housed some swish executive areas and the offices of the Cambs FA. The amalgamated stands took up about half of the space along that side of the ground while the remaining area consisted of flat tarmac and a portacabin-style club shop.
The other change was on the opposite side of the ground, where a low-roofed area of seating had appeared in the midst of the uncovered terracing that otherwise made up that side of the ground, all of which was overshadowed by that giant Leylandii hedge.
Mirror image terracing was behind either goal with a low roof covering only the very centre section of each. The mirror image theme was maintained by the placing of a tea bar to the right of the home end and the left of the away end... in fact the theme could only have been enhanced by having the word 'Tea Bar' written backwards above one of them.
And then there was the public address system, which seemed to have only three volume levels - ten, eleven and ear bleeding. We suffered the full gamut of noise bombardment even before the turnstiles had opened as the announcer, played requests for all and sundry. Fortunately a very kind Histon volunteer took pity on the (mimed) request from Dave Remnant and myself to reduce the volume to a level where we could hear ourselves think - at least that was the gist of the request - and duly turned one of the ocean liner sized speakers to face the pitch rather than the press area. Those people watching the game from the bridge would have had no problems hearing the numerous dedications and instructions over the p.a.
Many tannoy operators are inured with the sound of their own voice, and the regular reminder of the advertising boards under which smokers were permitted to pacify their craving will have tested many a New Years' resolution!
The usual rash of towers and scaffolding suggested the presence of a certain television company, but the configuration of Histon's ground meant that, unusually, none of them block the view.
Before the match, in an inspired piece of theatre, a drum kit was placed on the pitch and a certain Phil Collins track began. With the professional musician who had been due to play crying off because of a 'dicky ticker' and a 'drummer boy' with his arm in a sling having injured it - the arm, not the sling - practicing the night before an emergency replacement had been called into action. So, instead of the gorilla, we had the surreal sight of Histon's mascot bashing away on the drums.
United fans: Fairly quiet for long spells of the game; although when they started bouncing the roof of the covered terrace they were in bounced up and down too. The underside of the roof also turned out to make a good drum.
View from away end: Those who were in position at the front well over an hour before kick off were okay, but with the crowd being six or seven deep on flat standing areas many, especially children, struggled to see.
Home Fans: A dozen or so behind the goal made some noise, and one of the Histon players received a lot of support from a group in the main stand.
There was one unfortunate incident when an apparently over-catered fan on his way to being ejected from the ground stopped to unleash a formidable range of Anglo-Saxon in the direction of one end of the press bench. To their great credit, a number of Histon officials were quick to express their apologies.
Police/stewards: Stewards were friendly enough. The few police that were there congregated around the tea bars.
Programme: 48 pages for £2.50.
Food/drink: There were tales of long queues and short supplies.
Toilets: Several portaloos served the away contingent. The one our reporters in the away section used was particularly spacious inside, and smelt very clean. It was tardis like, not only because it was blue but also because it really did seem bigger inside. In fact there was so much room you could have had a uniformed attendant standing by a row of sinks waiting to run some water for you into one of the basins and brush the shoulders of your jacket on the way out.
Afterwards
The Journey Home: No more difficult than the journey to the match had been. I suppose the one good thing about losing a local derby is that it doesn't take long to get home afterwards.
Mileage: 21.9 miles
Total Distance for Season: 3,688.6 miles
Mark Johnson, with additional reporting by David Gray, Paul Johnson, Ryan Johnson and Gordon McMillan
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