Match: v Torquay United - Blue Square Premier

Date: Saturday, November 3rd, 2007

Result: Torquay 1 Cambridge United 2

The Journey

Departure Time: We set off in middle of the night. Okay, it might not have actually been the middle of the night, but 7.30am felt like it to me.

Arrival at Ground: The trees alongside the motorways were in the full flush of autumn so although the drive may have been long it was, at least, scenic.

The journey took a more intimidating turn after the second break of the day with most of the local Constabulary out and about on traffic duty. I've never seen so many speed traps, Police cars and motorcycles in such a small area as there were on the M5 around the Somerset/Devon border and there was even a 'bear in the air' as C.W. McCall once famously almost sang. Not wanting to miss out, there were more mobile cameras on high bridges over the steep hills down into the Torbay area from where Devon & Cornwall Police watched like Comanches on a canyon rim waiting to ambush unwary wagon trains.

We parked close to the ground at about 12.45 pm and almost immediately an enormous seagull chick turned up to fulfil one coastal stereotype as it wandered around complaining to its mother that it wanted feeding.

At The Ground

The Ground: It's been a few years since the last trip to Torquay and one notable change in the intervening period has been the addition of a roof over the breezeblock away terrace behind one of the goals. The opposite end of the ground contained the most impressive stand, which had the padded seats of the Directors' Box in the centre surrounded by a family seating area. Sliding glass doors at the back of this stand suggested the presence of executive areas.

A much older, wooden framed construction was to the right of this stand. With painted wooden flip-up seats bolted onto concrete, most of this stand looked like a relic of bygone glories, although the centre section looked more like the relic of fire damage. Here, the seats had been bolted onto a newer wooden base, although strangely this section of the stand was lower than the sections on either side making the view questionable. A narrow area of terracing ran along the front of this stand, which was covered by an ancient roof from which showers of paint and rust cascaded when it was hit by a clearance. This roof was supported by an inordinate number of pillars behind which an unfeasibly large percentage of the match seemed to take place.

Terracing ran the length of the remaining side of the ground, covered by a roof that seemed to have sprouted an extraordinary number of television camera gantries. A Church tower and spire pierced the leaden sky over one end of this roof.

United Fans: An excellent turnout for such a long journey. There was plenty of space and opportunity for them to bounce to their hearts content in between exchanging pleasantries with the local youths.

View from Away End: With no pillars and fairly steep steps, the view was good - particularly of Rob Wolleaston's winning goal!

Home Fans: Torquay fans seem to have adapted to life in the Conference, judging by the way they changed ends along the side terrace at half time. There was an 'interesting' group who spent most of the second half exchanging views with United fans. Presumably they paid their admission money to watch visiting supporters, although some of them did occasionally turn to face the match! Some of these delightful chaps pretended they were about to invade the pitch when their team scored, while a number gathered outside the away turnstiles at the end of the game in a vain attempt to provoke United fans who simply ignored them.

Police/Stewards: Some of the stewards were apparently strangers to the ground as they 'hadn't a clue' whether a family of United fans could transfer to the family stand. Although they did admit that there had been problems with fans getting on the pitch, their responsibilities seemed to end with the final whistle as there was no sign of them or the Police when the local rapscallions gathered outside the away turnstiles.

Programme: Unusual in shape and orientation, the programme had been turned on its side and stretched in a way that reminded me of United programmes from the late 70s when we regularly played teams like Chelsea, Newcastle and West Ham in the League... we did, honestly! That unusual orientation had confused a number of advertisers whose adverts had been distorted alarmingly to fit.

At £2.50 for 48 pages, there was a reasonable amount to read but my attention was drawn to an advert for a sporting dinner 'starring former Manchester United goalkeeper Alex Stepney and top comedian Jimmy Quinn'... is there no end to his talents?

Food/Drink: £1.90 for a bottle of 'Diet Coke Light' - the appalling European import version that nearly made our taster drop his change when informed of the price. I dread to think how much it would have cost to have the bottle cap too but this was not an option as, in a throwback to the Football League, it was confiscated before you could start using it to building a replica of HMS Victory - or whatever it was they were worried about. £1.50 for a sausage roll was nearer usual ground prices, although they seemed to make up for that by saving on electricity to heat it fully. The tea was all right though.

State of Toilets: Like a larger version of Stafford's infamous facilities, but with the enhancement of the gutter being flushed through every so often with chip fat from the adjacent catering block.

Half Time Entertainment: During the interval a lady, who may not have been entirely local judging by her transatlantic tones, wandered onto the pitch to promote - at great length - a world record 'Santa Run'. Unfortunately, the longer the explanation went on, the less clear it became what she was talking about. The appearance of someone in a slim-line Father Christmas outfit did little to help clarity. The whole thing was met by an increasing mixture of apathy and derision by her target audience.

Afterwards

The Journey Home: For some reason, we seemed to see a large number of firework displays along the route home. I can only think that it was something to do with the result, although it was rather surprising to see so much of the country seemingly sharing our delight at the result... unless there's some other explanation I've overlooked!

Mileage: 518.4 miles

Total Distance for Season: 3,173.5 miles

Mark Johnson, with additional reporting by David Gray, Paul Johnson, Ryan Johnson and Gordon McMillan

[Match report] [Fixture list]

Make Your Click Count For The U's - talk about it on the Message Board!

The views expressed on this page are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Cambridge United Football Club or the webmaster.

071106