Match: v Woking - Blue Square Premier

Date: Saturday, August 25th 2007

Result: Woking 0 Cambridge United 0

The Journey

Departure Time: 10.35am

Arrival at Ground: There are times when the journey to an away match is straightforward and relaxing and the only worry is of arriving too early. This was not one of those journeys. The sudden appearance of a mysterious bright object in the sky (some, with good memories, claimed it was a natural phenomenon that occurred every summer) coinciding with the start of the bank holiday weekend brought out the traffic, and it all seemed to be between me and where I wanted to go. There were even a couple of old Morris Marinas on the A1 and if one hadn't needed to be towed by the other I might have thought we'd driven into an episode of 'Life on Mars'.

Of course the M25 was particularly unpleasant with traffic as sticky as a toffee apple that had been left out in the bank holiday sun. We inched interminably from junction to junction until a combination of good luck and better navigation (not by me!) led us through the back way into Woking, via affluent villages and the old town.

As we drove though the Surrey countryside we passed signs warning of restrictions of movement in the area. Fortunately I wasn't delayed as the restrictions had been imposed due to an outbreak of Foot and Mouth rather than to reduce the occurrence of foot IN mouth.

Having worried about traffic for most of the journey we actually arrived at the ground at about 12.50pm, which left just the right amount of time to set up the broadcast kit, clear the brain ready for commentary and make some notes - for this article actually. It also left enough time for others in the travelling party to venture into the nearby snooker club where German television was showing a Premiership game.

At The Ground

The Ground: Once inside, the ground is dominated by a large stand at one end. With red and white seats, a skeletal superstructure and a squashed Wembley arch on top, this stand could not look more incongruous when set against the remaining sections of the ground if it had been painted pink and carried a large sign saying 'I am incongruous'.

A low, covered terrace runs behind other goal while the side to the left of the huge stand is filled with an assemblage of stands, terracing and portacabins that could be unpicked to demonstrate how the ground had developed over the years. With the stands in different styles and at different levels, the only common factors on this side of the pitch are the green paint over the wooden frames and the vast network of spiders' webs virtually everywhere you look. More pillars than appear to be absolutely necessary hold up the roof of one of these stands; this, of course, is home to the press seats. It also contains a notice saying that a particular row of green seats is reserved for Woking directors and guests - a plan that is rather spoilt by one white seat in the middle of the row.

Opposite, the away terrace is open to the blazing sun with only a little shade provided by the shadow of the huge stand at one end. With portacabin toilets in the middle and catering at one end, a green corrugated building looms large over this terrace; a building that looks as though it houses airships but is actually the snooker club.

With the heat in the main stand exacerbated by the corrugated roof, you could be forgiven for thinking that you had wandered onto the set of 'Tenko', an impression reinforced by what looks like a machine gun nest, but is actually a television gantry, above the U's fans.

The facilities may have been non-league, but the warm welcome more than made up for them. There was even a list brought round before the match asking the press for the half time drinks requirements, although they were only able to supply my second choice - a cup of tea. For some reason the mint julep I'd asked for was not forthcoming... come to think of it neither was the gin and tonic requested by my colleague from BBC Radio Southern Counties! Can't understand why!

Entertainment before the match was provided by the Woking mascot, KC. I think it was meant to be a cat, but it looked more like Betty Boop had forgotten to shave. Its high jinks included that popular game of putting a bucket over the photographer's head and teasing youngsters with sweets before it found a water bottle and a WAG with whom to attempt to start a wet t-shirt competition!

United Fans: Spread out along a baking, roofless terrace they did well to generate some decent support at times, although the heat quietened them down.

View from Away End: The view was good despite fairly shallow terrace steps and a decent away following.

Home Fans: Quiet, other than some unimaginative abuse of Leo Fortune-West.

Police/Stewards: No police and the stewards were ok, although they did say that it was 'dangerous' to stand in the no standing zone - presumably because it was the only bit of shadow in the away end for much of the match.

Programme: 48 pages for £2.50. A reasonable amount to read, including news of the official caterers under that huge stand - a fish and chip outlet that probably didn't do a roaring trade on the day we visited. Not sure about the article on page 17 though... some bloke rambling on about the U's.

Food/Drink: Tea at 60p and soft drinks for £1, which unsurprisingly, sold extremely well. The bacon burger (£2.50) was cooked to order and, apparently, very tasty.

State of Toilets: A reasonably spacious portacabin at the back of the terrace, about half way along, it was sparse but clean enough.

Afterwards

The Journey Home: After the testing journey to the match, the return trip was much more straightforward... at least it was for us. But then we weren't having to drive our Porsche convertible with one hand on the steering wheel and the other on the top of our head to prevent the wind blowing our hairpiece onto the windscreen of the car behind as one gentleman of a certain age appeared to be doing!

Mileage: 165.1 miles

Total Distance for Season: 493.0 miles

Mark Johnson, with additional reporting by David Gray, Paul Johnson, Ryan Johnson and Gordon McMillan.

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