Friday 1st September 2006 - U's 1-3 Exeter: Catching the last Buzz home

Well, Buzz thought he'd take us to infinity and beyond
He didn't get further than Histon Pond
He worked his socks off, that's no lie
But 'Newman Out' was the fans' last cry

Because he used to manage, but it's all over now
Yes, he used to manage, but it's all over now

Well, Buzz he used to try every formation in town
Change half the team around when we'd go one down
Put his arm round Fola, then kicked him up the bum
Neither seemed to work, perhaps he's just too dumb

Because he used to manage, but it's all over now
Yes, he used to manage, but it's all over now

Well, Buzz used to scout for players, didn't have time to go to bed
But he couldn't get ex-Norwich players out of his head
Now he's gone back to his shop, will he take Spearo along?
He'll be Arkwright, Tony's Granville, c-c-can't go wrong

Because they used to manage, but it's all over now
Yes, they used to manage, but it's all over now

So Buzz has flown his last. No-one should forget the tremendous job he did a year ago in building a useful squad from literally nothing, nor his hard work and integrity. But this season brought new challenges and new goals to which he has shown no sign of rising, and football is a fast-moving and unforgiving game. Let us just hope that there a certain number of players who got up this morning, looked in the mirror and asked themselves "Could I have done better? And if so, why didn't I?"

The last time United failed to win any of their opening six league matches was back in 1930-31 in the Cambs League, but at least then they scored goals, notching 14 and conceding 27 including a stonking 5-5 draw with the mighty Sawston Paper Mills. In fact they had to wait until their fifteenth game for their first victory and finished second bottom... then got promoted to the Premier League. Crazy days.

Buzz's gamble with the kids at Dagenham didn't work, so he made a dramatic seven changes for the visit of Exeter. Out went Smith, Gash, Quinton, Josh Simpson and Liam Marum along with the suspended Jaszczun and injured Davies. The formation was also tinkered with once again.

This time Mark Peters returned for his first match of the season alongside Bloomer and Morrison in a back three, flanked by wing-backs Courtney Pitt and debutant Rob 'Richard' Gier. Ritchie Hanlon was stationed just in front of them in the holding role behind central midfielders Jon Brady and Rob Wolleaston, while Danny Carey-Bertram returned from suspension to partner Marcus Richardson up front. Second deadline signing, Trevor Robinson, was on the bench.

Exeter arrived on the back of a record at the Abbey that was dodgier than a West Ham United player-laundering deal. They had won there only three times, the last occasion way back in January 1976, since when they had lost twelve and drawn five of their 17 league and cup visits. The U's had to take hope wherever they could find it.

It was a balmy summer's evening and the occasion was enlivened by a vocal NRE and a good turnout from the Devonians. First hint of danger came on 3 when Pitt, rarely entirely comfortable in a defensive role, was beaten by ex-Cambridge City man Jon Challinor who set up Lee Phillips for a low cross which was smothered by Paul Crichton.

First corner fell to the visitors on 5, and Billy Jones' wicked inswinger was blocked almost off his own line by Michael Morrison.

United, however, responded well and with a solid-looking foundation, there was a noticeable determination and bite about the team with some tackles by Gier (left) and Hanlon that were crunchier than a grit buttie.

Best chance so far came on 11 for the hosts as Richardson's flick set up Carey-Bertram, darting ahead of his marker across the box to clip a delicate chip that just fell the wrong side of the far post as the amber hordes' cry of 'Goal!' stuck in their throats.

DCB prodded wide again a minute later in a lively return following his Zidane impression at St Albans, and perhaps the young striker realised he owed the team - and the supporters - a performance or two after that debacle. Pitt flashed a shot wide on the quarter hour, then DCB essayed a long ranger but still could not find the target. But it was an encouraging start by the side second bottom of the Conference.

And that encouragement was confirmed in bizarre and fortunate fashion on 19. United gained a free-kick wide on the left when Challinor fouled Pitt. As Exeter organised themselves, Brady took a quick one, a whistle sounded a split second later, and as many players froze, there was good old Mark Peters stooping to head home from close range. 1-0!

The opposition protested vehemently about the whistle, and it is not clear whether what they heard came from the ref or the crowd, but the goal stood and Matt Gill received a yellow card for his dissenting pains. Perhaps our luck had changed at last?

As long-forgotten confidence coursed through their veins, United had the best of the next fifteen minutes. Wolleaston's bouncing bomb of a shot was blocked by Grecians keeper Martin Rice on 25, and DCB blasted wide from a tight angle on the half hour, while Peters glanced a Brady corner wide on 33. The system was working well, the players were snapping into the tackle and everyone looked full of energy and running. What could possibly go wrong?

What went wrong was that Exeter finally got their own game going late into the first half. A cluster of three corners on 38 signalled their revival, and three minutes later they were level. One of several inaccurate Richardson layoffs presented the ball to Dean Moxey, who sent Jamie Mackie away down the left. With both wing-backs caught pressing forward, the back three were stranded and Morrison's vain offside claim was incorrect as Mackie sprinted past him, cut inside and found a pinpoint cross to Lee Phillips which cut out Bloomer and set him up for an unequivocal piledriver of a shot from near the penalty spot which beat Crichton all ends up. 1-1.

Less than a minute later it might have been even worse as Morrison and Crichton dithered over a ball running between them and Mackie almost got a toe to it before the United custodian gathered gratefully.

It made a refreshing change for the U's to be applauded from the pitch at half-time instead of jeered, and overall it had been a decent display against very useful opposition. But those standards would have to be maintained and most likely improved upon if they were to get that much-needed first win in part two.

It took less than a couple of minutes from the restart for the amber hordes' worst fears to be realised. Once again, you had to question just what Buzz said to his charges during the interval, because Exeter came out all guns blazing and pinned the hosts back into their own area like a collection of stunned butterflies.

The visitors had identified United's main weakness (OK, there have plenty to choose from this season): the back three. With Bloomer and Morrison severely lacking in confidence following their shaky start to the season, plus their vulnerability down the flanks due to the wing-back system and the fact that the wing-backs were an out-of-position attacker and someone who had only just met his team-mates, Exeter ran at their hosts from all angles.

Mackie received the ball on the right, ghosted past Pitt, then two more defenders as they seemed afraid to even attempt a tackle in the box, and as the 'defence' opened up like a toothless Venus flytrap, he seemed certain to score until Crichton dived bravely at his feet to block and send his shot over the bar.

Challinor flashed a tempting ball across the face of goal on 50 which was well cleared by Gier, Hanlon cleared the ensuing corner, but it was all one-way traffic as United struggled to get out of their own half, their own strikers reduced to the role of virtual spectators. They should have been charged admission.

The warning signal of Mackie's run had not been heeded and on 55 Phillips produced a very similar run from the left, easily riding three feeble 'tackles' before arrowing a low cross to the far post to set up Challinor with a close-range tap-in. 2-1.

The steely, determined United side of the first half had been replaced with a collection of wobbling lemon jellies and another mazy Phillips run culminated in a shot narrowly wide. The hosts responded briefly through the hard-working Brady on 58 who unleashed a left-footed howitzer from over 25 yards which ricocheted off the underside of the bar. If that had gone in, who knows...?

A minute later Buzz made his first substitution, recognising that his system had been sussed and withdrawing Bloomer in favour of Robinson, who took up position at left-back as United switched to an orthodox 4-4-2. First impression of the former Millwall loanee who made four underwhelming appearances last season was not the best as he watched Phillips sprint away from him down the wing and left his colleagues to chase him down as he jogged gently back.

Robinson has apparently been 'training with a Spanish club.' The suspicion that the club was in fact Manumission was increased on 64 as this time Phillips sent Mackie hurtling down past him the wing. As Mackie raced for goal, Robinson's pursuit could best be described as a steady jog with all the urgency of an arthritic tortoise. Unchallenged, Mackie fired in a fierce angled drive as he reached the penalty area which Crichton could only help goalward, Phillips providing the coup de grace from close in. 3-1.

That was it. The home crowd, until now unfailing noisy and supportive, began the first 'Newman Out' chant with banner to match.

The object of their fury responded by replacing both underachieving, if supply-starved strikers, introducing youngsters Gash and Marum in a move that did not so much suggest desperation as strip naked, paint itself bright pink and climb to the top of Great St Mary's Tower screaming "I'm desperate!" through a loudhailer.

To be fair, both youthful forwards gave a good account of themselves, getting stuck in and running tirelessly to try to make something happen. Unfortunately that could not compensate for the likes of Hanlon and Wolleaston, whose contribution to the second half could be written on the head of a particularly small pin. When the going got tough, they disappeared. That is the sort of thing that gets managers the sack.

Brady, still toiling, drove another shot wide, and as Exeter relaxed, knowing that the game was won (let's face it, we all knew), United at last began to gain some possession again. Pitt's free-kick found the head of Gash on 69, who nodded narrowly wide in a crowded box, but most crosses were hoisted rather more in hope than accuracy. And United did not even have the option of playing three up front due to their two like-for-like swaps.

Gash won another neck-straining header on 78 and forced a save from Rice low to his left. Exeter, long since taking their time over throw-ins and goal-kicks, started a series of time-gobbling substitutions a minute later in introducing Adam Stansfield for Mackie, although their desire to waste time could not surely have been down to any fear that their huffing, puffing opponents might claw anything back.

An increasingly frustrated Hanlon upended Challinor on 81 and was duly booked, then Marum (left) created a chance for himself with some nifty footwork but pulled his shot wide. United were caught on the break on 85 when Jones' clearance sent Phillips away down the right, and he eventually found Gill who might easily have scored from close range but saw his shot well tipped over by Crichton.

Second Exeter sub on 88 saw Paul Buckle replace Phillips, and his first 'action' was to be fouled by Gash, who saw yellow for his (or Buckle's) pains. United's dismal evening was complete a minute later when Morrison conceded a free-kick and Hanlon bounced the ball away in disgust at the referee's decision. Second yellow meant a third red card of the season for the U's and an experienced player like Hanlon really should have known better.

Stoppage time saw a final sub for the Grecians, George Friend for Challinor, a final shot by Stansfield, then a final whistle on Rob Newman's managerial career at the Abbey. If United's first-half performance had engendered hope, their second had dashed it all away in a flash flood of feebleness.

If Lee Power had any misgivings at half-time about giving the management their cards, United's wretched second 45 made his decision easy for him. They finished the match a directionless mess and, however much the players must take responsibility for their own performances (and they damned well should), only one man ultimately carries the can. Or two, in this case.

Thank you for the good things you've done, Buzz and Spearo, and good luck for the future. We have to move on and look forward. Over to you, Mr Chairman...

Player Ratings
Crichton 5. Not a game he (or indeed anyone in amber) will remember with any fondness.
Gier 7. One of the bright spots, he was lively, energetic and a tremendous tackler.
Bloomer 5. Sadly lacking in confidence and as a result, a shadow of the fine player we know he can be.
Morrison 5. Also struggling for form, which is one of the reasons United are shipping so many goals so regularly.
Peters 7. Class never fades.
Pitt 6. Did his best, but just isn't cut out to be a wing-back.
Brady 6. Got stuck in and hit the bar with a humdinger of a shot. Not entirely convinced that he's a central midfielder, though.
Hanlon 4. Decent first half, then disappeared and his final flourish was his own personal entry into the "Most mindlessly stupid red card" competition that he and his colleagues seem to be contesting this season.
Wolleaston 5. Another who did reasonably well in the first 45 then went MIA.
Carey-Bertram 6. Promisingly lively until his supply line dried up.
Richardson 5. On this showing, simply doesn't have the touch, skill or aerial ability to be a target man.

Robinson 4. Looked like he was still on the beach for his first somnolent ten minutes and appeared frankly overweight and unfit.
Gash 6. Battled with great heart and managed some reasonable attempts on goal despite his team falling apart around him.
Marum 6. Another creditable young sub, showed good touch and attitude.

Match Summary: Rob Newman's last game as United manager summed up his Abbey tenure: a promising, hard working start which suddenly and dramatically collapsed like a deck of cards in a hurricane. They don't call it the hot seat for nothing...

Man of the Match: Mark Peters. Could be the rock on which United launch their revival this season. He'll need better support than this, though.

Ref Watch: Evans 6. Gave United a bizarre goal and was a little too intolerant of innocuous physical contact, but nothing too horrendous.

Soundtrack of the Day:
Liam Frost & The Slowdown Family 'The City Is At Standstill'
Ensemble feat. Chan Marshall 'Disown, Delete'

Andrew Bennett

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Previous match reports:
Dagenham 2-0 U's
U's 1-2 Halifax
St Albans 1-1 U's
U's 0-1 Northwich Victoria

Pre-season match reports:
Histon 0-0 U's (3-4 on pens)
U's 1-3 Norwich
Fakenham 0-7 U's
Enfield FC 0-2 U's
Cambridge City 0-2 U's
U's 4-4 Ipswich
U's 0-4 West Ham
Bury Town 1-2 U's
Leyton 0-3 U's

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