U's 2-0 Forest Green: Hats' Trick
Saturday 23rd February 2008 - U's 2-0 Forest Green: Hats' Trick
Cast your mind back two and a half years, to 13th August 2005: the date of United's first game in the Conference. Our destination was Nailsworth, an obscure town-cum-village in the middle of nowhere (or 'Gloucestershire' as it is known to the locals) and a quaint little ground at the top of a huge hill, the likes of which we had never seen before outside the non-League venues we had visited for pre-season friendlies. Now we, too, were 'non-League.'
The 'stadium' was tiny and so was the crowd, half of which came from Cambridge. The weather was unseasonably miserable and wet, some once-a-decade morons joined us to abuse Paul Wanless and, allegedly, the toilets, and worst of all, our heroes played like drains, going down 1-0 in the most dismal, feeble manner imaginable. And at the end of the match, the hosts' PA man celebrated his side's victory by playing 'The Wild Rover' and singing along enthusiastically to the chorus while exhorting us all to join in. Welcome to the wonderful world of non-League football.
Thirty months later, we still hadn't managed to defeat Forest Green, at the Abbey or either of their old or new grounds, but the U's have now, under Jimmy Quinn's astute guidance, finally got their act together, both on and off the pitch, and we can at the very worst look forward to finishing in a higher position than in the season before for the first time since the 1999-2000 term. So what if one of our strikers has moved to some other club? We have survived much, much worse in the last seven years. And now we are on our way back.
Both United's previous meetings with Forest Green at the Abbey had resulted in draws. But the U's were in history-making mood after that first win in 32 years at Halifax last week, and four personnel changes were not going to get in their way. With Mark Beesley ineligible to play against his former employers and Scott Rendell having found himself a new cowboy outfit, a new front pairing of Big Lee, Little Lee (McEvilly and Boylan) was instigated at the head of a 4-4-2 formation.
Dan Gleeson and Mark Peters were absent through suspension so Paul Carden returned to partner Stephen Reed in the centre with Rob Wolleaston and Courtney Pitt on the flanks, while at the back Mark Morrison and Wayne Hatswell were full-backs and between them Mark Albrighton returned from injury and young Josh Coulson was given his second start in U's colours. There was also a welcome return to the bench for Ben Farrell and one new face in teenage West Ham loanee Jack Jeffery.
Forest Green handed the U's their first defeat of the season back at their place at the end of September, and very impressive they were, too. They have remained on the fringes of the playoff places all season, but have showed signs of slippage of late - goal machine Stuart Fleetwood missing his erstwhile partner Beesley - and they lost embarrassingly at home to Stafford Rangers last week. Today they could not even muster five substitutes, and they sported one ex-U in Danny Carey-Bertram, facing the U's for the fourth time (three for FGR, one for Hereford) after an underwhelming spell at the Abbey in which he netted three times in eight games plus nine as sub, but was most memorable for his ludicrous sending-off at St Albans for headbutting an opponent in the stomach right in front of the referee.
A mild but windy day greeted an excellent crowd of almost 4,800 thanks to the presence of hundreds of colts league representatives in the South Stand, the season ticket 'Bring a mate' initiative, and a hardy band of 66 from Nailsworth, bless them patronisingly.
In an excellent atmosphere United went for the throat from the off, every player seeming comfortable in the new system, and ref Langford offered an early taste of what was to come from him on 2 when Pitt robbed FGR skipper Michael Brough on the left just outside the box and was chopped down as he headed for goal, only for the man in black to ignore all claims for a blatant foul.
Two minutes later, however, the mood changed to one of celebration. Rovers' Jamie Pitman brought Reed down in the left channel the best part of forty yards from goal, and the area filled with jostling bodies as Hatswell lined up the free-kick. Everyone was expecting a long diagonal ball to the far edge of the box, but with the wind at his back Hatswell had other ideas and he struck a quite stupendous shot which flew straight as an arrow into the top left corner of the net, still rising as it went in, with keeper Ryan Robinson a bewildered and flabbergasted spectator. One of the best goals, and certainly one of the best free-kicks, ever seen at the Abbey: 1-0.
It was a particularly sweet first U's goal for Hatswell as it was against one of his former clubs, and notably the one against which he scored THAT classic own goal all those years ago. Doubtless it is still there to haunt him on YouTube, but hey, we can all laugh about it now.
United kept up the early pressure on their green-clad opponents. McEvilly drew a free-kick from marker Chris Giles on 6 and Carden's cunningly arced set piece was touched in the box to Pitt eight yards out, but a brave body blocked his snap shot. Reed screwed a long-ranger wide two minutes later as the visitors gradually worked their way back into the contest with the pass-and-move football favoured by their estimable manager, Jim Harvey, assisted by the all-too-frequent whistle of an unnecessarily censorious ref who seemed intent on stopping play whenever two players came within a yard of each other.
The 4-4-2 was working well, Carden dominating the centre with Reed's able assistance, Pitt blossoming in his most comfortable role when the ref allowed, and McEvilly made for a perfect target man, winning almost every header and flick-on and holding the ball and bringing colleagues into play with strength and vision. One of his flicks on 14 fell to Boylan in the corner of the box and his audacious first-time volley was well clutched by Robinson.
Rovers probed on the break but could not bring their forwards into play, closely shackled as they were by United's new-look back four. They remained positive, however, leaving three men up when they conceded corners, forcing the U's to leave three markers back to pick them up.
After a scramble following one such corner from Pitt on 24, Albrighton blasted wide from the edge of the area, then in a peculiar incident near halfway McEvilly went down clutching his face after Anthony Tonkin ran past him, but any possible assault went unnoticed by the three wise donkeys.
On 26 Pitt had a goalbound scudder blocked by Pitman, and four minutes later he almost created his side's second when a Rovers corner was cleared to find him alone in the centre circle. He sprinted down the middle, faced with two defenders funnelling desperately back in front of him, and waited intelligently until Wolleaston hared past him and set him up with a diagonal through ball; but with the goal at his mercy, the U's midfielder scuffed a disappointing shot wide of the far post.
McEvilly displayed his repertoire of skills on 35, latching onto a forward pass out on the left, waiting patiently for support, then bamboozling Giles with a nifty 180 degree turn and bustling past him and heading for goal, culminating in a superb cross that bisected the six-yard box with Boylan just unable to apply the finishing touch.
Morrison picked up first yellow on 38 for a trip on quicksilver winger Ishmael Welsh after a wriggling slalom run, just outside the box, but Alex Lawless fired a feeble free-kick over the top. Tonkin got in the way of a long-range Reed blaster a minute later and Hatswell almost finished the half the way he had begun it with an outrageous 35-yard half-volley on the bounce that sailed just past the upright.
The crowd acclaimed an entertaining and enjoyable first half which United had deservedly won despite the best efforts of a dangerous opposition and a positively lethal referee. Would either spoil part two?
United began the second 45 as breathlessly as they had started the first, and within a couple of minutes Tonkin had fouled McEvilly out on the left, Pitt swung a wicked free-kick into the danger zone, and there was that man Hatswell with a toepoke for goal that Robinson did well to tip round the post at full stretch.
Rovers responded with a Pitman free-kick on 49 from which Mark Preece fired over, then back at the other end a delightful passing move culminated in Boylan crossing low to McEvilly with the goal at his mercy; he appeared to be clearly brought down from behind by Giles, who certainly did not get the ball, and following up behind them Pitt's low flasher was again tipped away by Robinson. No penalty; corner. The ensuing flag-kick fell to Boylan with his back to goal six yards out, and he swivelled but somehow managed to fire his shot wide.
Preece got in the way of a McEvilly blaster on 54, then two minutes later Pitt and Boylan worked a short corner which culminated in a low cross by the former which caused chaos at the near post; Robinson patted it out to Albrighton eight yards out and it seemed as if he must score, but his shot was palmed away by a hand which did not appear to be encased in a goalkeeper's glove. Penalty? The man in black, once again, displayed all the interest of Dale Winton in a strip-tease by Kylie.
As in the first half, Rovers began to play their way back into the contest, helped by Mr L's free-kick obsession, but Albrighton, Coulson and co remained in control at the back. Boylan became United's second bookee on 62 for a foul on Pitman.
The U's still had not managed to notch the clinching second goal that they merited, so on 64 their visitors obligingly did it for them. Carden's high through ball down the middle looked destined to be gobbled up by Robinson as he advanced to the edge of the area to collect, but that strong wind held it up and, sensing an opportunity, McEvilly gave chase, shadowed by Preece. Robinson hesitated, Preece panicked with the big United striker's hot breath on his neck (wouldn't you?), and in a spectacular and hilarious display of miscommunication, Preece chested the ball past his stranded keeper and it bounced into the empty net. Priceless: 2-0.
It was the first own goal scored for United since Edwards of Aldershot notched in the U's 2-0 win back in September 2006. The last own goal seen at the Abbey was scored by the venerable Andy Duncan for Burton Albion on 30th December of the same year. That's right: there had been no o.g. in a United game for over thirteen months. I knew there was something missing...
Les Afful replaced Carey-Bertram for the visitors, the former U having contributed nothing of note, but United remained on top as Rovers heads seemed to go down. On 70 Jeffery was introduced for his debut in place of the hard-working Boylan, the first Jack to sport the black and amber since Jack Bannister in the early Seventies, and the first Jeffery, as Andy Jeffrey in the Nineties spelt his surname slightly differently.
The visitors came close to pulling one back soon after. Carden was harshly carded for a 'foul' on Afful, and Lawless' well-swung free-kick to the far post was met by Giles, but he headed into the ground and it bounced over the bar and onto the roof of the net.
United received yet another booking on 78, the first to be truly deserved for Reed for a nasty-looking challenge on Welsh, and three minutes later Potter was forced into a rare save from a Giles shot. Jeffery tested Robinson's gloves at the other end before Ben Farrell replaced Wolleaston on 83, then Morrison, warming to this full-back lark, marauded forward but shot wide under possibly illegal pressure from Tonkin.
The ref finally decided to book a FGR player on 88, Lawless for felling Farrell, and after five minutes added time was indicated, the drama really started. The speedy Welsh lost Morrison down the left, crossed to the far post where Potter dived low to save, then he was kicked for his pains by Giles as he followed up. The U's glovesman was apoplectic and went after Giles, thankfully still clutching the ball to stop him from hitting his attacker, and after a minor melee Mr Langford decided that Giles's assault merited only a yellow, also handing one to Fleetwood for his involvement in the ensuing push-and-shovefest.
There was still time for more merriment when, deep into added time, the league's much-vaunted top scorer Fleetwood finally managed a scrambled shot from eighteen yards which Potter collected with ease. So much ease, in fact, that he mimed throwing a hat over the ball to illustrate his comfort with the save. Legend.
Fleetwood was lucky to stay on the pitch a minute later when he burst between Albrighton and Coulson and flung himself pathetically to the ground in the box, but although the man in black acknowledged that it was a dive, he was for some reason unwilling to brandish the second yellow that such contemptible conduct merited. I think we signed the right one.
The final whistle saw much celebrating of United's first-ever win over FGR at the sixth attempt and confirmation that this promotion push is an ever-growing snowball that is now starting to get up some serious momentum. We've come a long way since Nailsworth 2005; the ride is going to get a whole lot more exciting yet!
Statto Corner
Young Mr Rendell (he's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy) is by no means the first player to move from the Abbey to the clammy embrace of London Road. Most people will remember Marc Joseph, and particularly his celebration when he scored for the Posh in front of the NRE and his subsequent embarrassment when his 'goal' was disallowed. But there have been several others, too.
Boro generously gave us £150,000 for keeper Jon Sheffield, and I don't think anyone was sorry to see Billy Manuel take his extensive collection of red cards up the A1. Steve Welsh also went that way when he realised he was never going to displace the likes of Chapple, O'Shea and Daish, and youngsters Adam Drury, Matthew Gill and Neil Pope were lured northwards before they could make first-team contention at the Abbey.
Gary Clayton, Tom Cowan and Tony Scully all went to Boro on loan without moving permanently, while Millwall loanee John McGlashan was lured to London Road before the U's could sign him up full-time. And let us not forget dear old Andy Duncan, who went up there on trial, but thankfully did not make the grade. I say thankfully because the thought of that great U's stalwart sporting the blue and white would have been about as digestible as a Blu-Tak sarnie.
Player Ratings
Potter 7. Well protected by his back four and rarely extended.
Morrison 8. Made a decent fist of this full-back malarkey with solid defending and some adventurous forward runs, too. Needs to work on his crossing and shooting if he is to play there regularly, though.
Albrighton 8. Led by example as usual.
Coulson 8. Another impressively cool-headed, no-nonsense outing for the youngster.
Hatswell 9. Truly awesome free-kick, and his defending wasn't far behind.
Wolleaston 7. Wide right is obviously not his best position, but put in a hard-working and useful performance.
Carden 9. United's most influential player, he was everywhere and his passing was 99% spot-on.
Reed 7. Much-improved effort in central midfield.
Pitt 8. Undoubtedly at his best as a proper left-winger, he was a menace all afternoon and would have had made even more of an impression had the ref not declared open season on his shins.
Boylan 7. Lively and alert, his darting runs were often not appreciated, although he missed his best chance to score. Needs a run in the side.
McEvilly 9. Centre-forward masterclass.
Jeffery 7. Hard-grafting and committed first outing for the West Ham rookie.
Farrell 7. Filled in seamlessly for the last few minutes.
Match Summary
United made light of recent personnel and formation upheavals to produce an impressively convincing victory over dangerous opponents who were made to look thoroughly ordinary. And that includes the referee. The rest of the season needs hold no fears for this team.
Man of the Match
Lee McEvilly. They don't look much alike (!) but not since Dave Kitson have United had a target man who holds the ball up, wins headers both up front and at the back, brings colleagues into play, and displays such intelligence and strength on the park as this guy. Make the move permanent, please!
Ref Watch
Langford 0. Imagine what the worst referee in the world would be like. He would stop play every thirty seconds for the most ludicrously innocuous of challenges, but lack the guts to show the slightest interest in awarding a penalty. Although he would make an exception to the free-kick rule for your star player, who it seems he had decided was a diver before he even set foot on the pitch. He would throw yellow cards around with alacrity, especially at your own team, but show no interest in showing a red, however deserved. He would lecture players about jostling before corners then blow for a free-kick a split second after the corner was taken, just to prove his point. And worst of all, he would do it all with a big smile on his face as if he really believed that the players and spectators thought he was doing a great job. Whereas they did in fact consider him to be an utter berk. Hello, Mr Langford.
Non-League Player's Name of the Week
Sittingbourne's Bradley Spice. Now why isn't he in a teeny-pop band?
Soundtrack of the Day
Operator Please 'Get What You Want'
Andrew Bennett
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