Saturday 3rd November 2007 - Torquay 1-2 U's: Riviera deep, United high

Seaside clubs are different. It is a rare club that can boast real-life mascots in addition to the usual bloke-in-a-silly-suit; Hereford managed it with their bull, although it's probably been banned by the Health & Safety Gestapo now, and Chelsea used to boast a regular contingent of pensioners before they dropped the nickname because it was uncool for their global brand. But you don't see many canaries at Norwich, bantams at Bradford or robins at Swindon. And it would be positively dangerous if Watford or Brentford let loose a swarm of hornets or bees, Derby had a ram or two wandering around the pitch, or Manchester United drew a pentacle in the centre circle and conjured up a red devil. And I can't see much demand for cottagers at Fulham...

So it was in keeping with the pleasant, friendly atmosphere at Torquay United's Plainmoor that a regular contingent of gulls soared and swooped over the pitch and around the stands during today's match, as a low, autumnal sun illuminated the contest on the ground. And don't tell the kids, but Marvin isn't a real moose.

Torquay has always been a nice place to visit, even if you can't see any sign of beach or sea in the tight suburban back streets where Plainmoor squats, with friendly locals and a welcoming bar at the ground in 'Boots & Laces.' A chap with a microphone even took the time to welcome the visiting U's hordes today and paid tribute to their long-travelling loyalty as they availed themselves of the on-tap Liebfraumilch (pint, anyone?) at the bar and enjoyed the Arsenal-Man U game on a big screen as a warm-up the main event.

And what an event it promised to be. The hosts, top of the table until Aldershot won last night, had won every home game this season since drawing their opener with Grays and have been scoring goals for the proverbial fun, notching at least three in a game ten times already this term, including that remarkable (and, let's face it, hilarious) 5-4 win at Histon in September. But they faced their sternest test yet in United's (Near-) Invincibles.

Plainmoor itself looked unchanged from our encounters in Football League days, a ramshackle, quaintly old-fashioned football ground with barbed wire on the walls, a programme shop and quaint lavs unchanged for many a long decade. The layout consisted of the classic lower-league arrangement: covered terraces for home and away supporters at each end, another terrace along one side, and a rickety main stand occupying half of the opposite side with seats at the back and tiny terrace in front, with another smaller seated stand tacked onto one side.

Team-wise, the hosts were weakened by the absence of their usual centre-back pairing of Steve Woods (injured) and Chris Todd (suspended), Mark Ellis and Chris Robertson standing in, while striker Lee Phillips failed a late fitness test and was replaced by Elliot Benyon for his first start. There were also some interesting tactical choices with former winger Tony Bedeau now operating at right-back and striker Chris Zebroski operating on the right of midfield behind Benyon and target man Tim Sills. Torquay's last ex-U, Stev Angus, departed in last season's relegation cull, but Woods' stand-in as skipper was a familiar face in ex-Cobbler Chris Hargreaves, who is it seems still in search of a decent hairdresser.

No such problems for the U's, notwithstanding longer term absentees like Potter, Brown and Quinton, with a bold, attacking side unchanged from Tuesday's Cup mauling of Stafford, although the formation was tweaked slightly from 4-3-3 to 3-4-1-2 with Darryl Knights moving to a position 'in the hole' behind strike pair Scott Rendell and Lee Boylan. Stephen Reed was making his first appearance at Plainmoor since leaving Torquay last year and sub Leo Fortune-West was also making an appearance at one of his many former clubs. I think he does that most weeks.

The match started in lively fashion and first two corners went to the hosts, but United's rearguard was in resolute mood and Mark Peters' head seemed to connect with every cross. The visitors' first shot came from Rob Wolleaston on 5, but keeper Simon Rayner gathered his underpowered effort without difficulty. The lively Boylan fired narrowly wide on 9 and the United formation was working well, Knights belying his inexperience with intelligent movement in support of the front two.

The hosts came close on 14 when Lee Mansell's left-wing cross was met by Sills' forehead, but his angled nod skimmed just wide of Luke McShane's far post. Both sides continued to probe each other without involving the goalkeepers, Torquay's free-scoring attack well stifled by the visitors who were enjoying marginally the better of possession without being able to find that killer final ball.

Zebroski blasted over on 23 and his scudder four minutes later was gathered without fuss by McShane, while Rendell scooped over the top for the U's on 29. United took another five minutes to finally gain their first corner, to no avail, and McShane gathered another gentle Sills effort on 35.

Courtney Pitt picked up first yellow on 38 for a foul on Bedeau, but within a couple of minutes he had created the opening goal. His high floating cross did not appear to be particularly dangerous, but the wily Boylan was on the end of it and his devious looping header sailed past a baffled Rayner and into the top corner. It looked so much as if it was dropping over the top that the United fans at the far end took several seconds to realise that it had gone in, then they joined the players in going, well, ape guano. 1-0!

Torquay were stung into life and retaliated immediately. Zebroski advanced down the left, squared for Bedeau, his shot was deflected out but it fell to Benyon at the far post. His first shot was superbly blocked by the quickly advancing McShane, but it unluckily fell straight back to Benyon and his second toe-poke was past Michael Morrison on the line before he could move. Instant riposte: 1-1.

Remarkably, United went straight back up the other end and should have retaken the lead within another minute. Boylan jinked past a couple of challenges and set up Knights five yards out, but somehow he shot straight at Rayner and he clutched almost on his own goal-line.

So a fairly cagey half had exploded into life in the last ten minutes, into the tit-for-tat goal-exchange that previous form had suggested. Until then Torquay had been well contained by United, who had just about shaded it. Now the blue touch paper had been well and truly lit.

In true non-League style, many Torquay supporters changed ends of the side terrace to that which their side would be attacking in part two; these boys learn fast. The sun was now shining over the far stand after a mostly cloudy opening 45, but the half-time interval was notable mainly for the appearance for someone dressed as Father Christmas (can't have been the real one, he'll be busy in Lapland by now) as part of a preview for some run or other, voiced by an American woman. A perusal of the matchday programme, a bizarre landscape-designed effort like the U's progs of the late 70s and early 80s, revealed that the club has a Sportsman's Evening lined up with 'comedian Jimmy Quinn.' It's the way he tells 'em.

Torquay started the second half strongly, pinning United back into their own third, Peters blocking a Sills effort on 49 while Bedeau picked up his side's first booking a minute later for fouling Morrison. On 56 Kevin Nicholson lined up a free-kick 25 yards out but could not beat the wall, then Zebroski managed a decent low shot which bounced off McShane's chest, but he was able to gather the rebound before any Gulls attacker could take advantage. Wolleaston sent a scudder wide, then Kevin Hill replaced the injured Bedeau.

There was a double booking on 61 after Albrighton fouled Sills and the Gulls striker reacted angrily: one yellow each. A couple of minutes later a Nicholson cross found the head of Mark Ellis, but he nodded over the top when he really might have done better. Rendell scuffed wide on 64, then Pitt was withdrawn, clearly carrying an injury, to be replaced by Stephen Smith, Reed moving wide left.

On 71 the subs really kicked in as both managers sought to break the deadlock. LFW came on for Knights, Boylan moving into the hole, while for the hosts the two Dannys, Wring and Stevens, replaced Ishmael Welsh and Benyon. Then Smith injured himself in a challenge and was forced to withdraw only nine minutes after coming on, Mikey Hyem depping.

Stevens blazed over with his first touch, and Albrighton blocked a Hill effort before McShane headed a long ball clear just outside his box before safely gathering a Nicholson cross. Then Reed arrowed a free-kick in from the right that Rendell met unchallenged at the far post, but he found the angle too much and thundered his header high and wide. Great chance. The contest was drifting towards an honourable draw, but both sides have enjoyed many a late goal this season. And this time it was United's turn.

Four minutes from time Hyem sent Wolleaston galloping down the left channel. As he approached the edge of a the box he had a defender right in front of him, but he feinted once, he feinted twice, then fired low for the bottom corner. It was not exactly a net-bulger, but the speed and accuracy of its execution caught Rayner off guard and his late reaction was insufficient to stop it gliding into the net. 2-1!

Now it was time for United to show their professionalism and organisation. And by golly, they did just that, and if Torquay had just shaded the second half possession-wise, they got little look-in at the end. Rendell might even have increased the lead when he slid in to challenge a clearance by Ellis and the ball ricocheted off his shin and narrowly wide of the near post with Rayner helpless.

Five minutes' added time was indicated, not too bad actually when you consider that three of that must have represented the half's six substitutions, and the United rearguard stood firm against a couple of hopeful long free-kicks into the box. The sponsors' man of the match was announced as, significantly, Gulls defender Ellis, who had dominated Rendell aerially throughout, although the United hitman had enjoyed more success on the ground.

The final whistle heralded joyful scenes both on and off the pitch as the amber hordes celebrated United's most notable win of the season after getting up at the crack of dawn for their longest away trip of the term. The players had worked so hard for it, with individual moments of brilliance producing two goals, and although the much-vaunted Torquay really hadn't looked anything special, they had not been allowed to do so by their resolute, well-organised opposition, a credit to the players and to the management.

The deafening PA blasted out The Teardrop Explodes' seminal 'Reward', and there could be no more fitting tribute to players and supporters alike, '...until I learn to accept my reward!' Bless my cotton socks, we're in the news. Well, it beats 'I Do Like To Be Beside The Seaside'...

Statto Corner
The largest crowd ever for a Torquay-U's game was for their first-ever meeting on 20th November 1954, when 8,224 saw the Division 3 South hosts defeat their Eastern Counties League opponents 4-0.

United had conceded three goals in both of their most recent visits to Plainmoor before today. Their last win there was on 8th November 1998, 1-0 through a Martin Butler penalty. Two of Torquay's side that day, Tony Bedeau and Kevin Hill, turned out for them today as well; United's last survivor from that day, Andy Duncan, played his last for the club in April.

Player Ratings
McShane 8. Not perfect but a thoroughly decent league debut and a nice clenched-fist salute to the supporters at the end.
Albrighton 9. Used all his considerable experience to great effect.
Peters 9. Simply massive.
Morrison 9. Consistently excellent.
Gleeson 8. Good, solid contribution.
Wolleaston 9. In the best form of his United career and can't stop scoring either.
Reed 8. Hard-grafting effort in the engine room.
Pitt 8. Highly industrious all the way up and down the left flank.
Knights 9. Such an intelligent footballer, slotted into the 'hole' as it were the easiest thing in the world.
Rendell 8. Tireless worker, although did not win nearly enough ball in the air.
Boylan 9. Another very clever little player and what a terrific goal.

Smith 7. Settled well until forced from the field after a mere nine minutes.
Fortune-West 8. Imposing presence and got in some good defensive headers too.
Hyem 8. Non-stop bundle of energy made a splendid impression on the game.

Match Summary
The season just gets better for the U's and their travelling support as a battling and super-efficient display destroyed Torquay's home record and demonstrated once and for all that this United side is a force to be reckoned with, from back to front. Keep it up!

Man of the Match
Mark Peters. You'll never beat...

Ref Watch
Linnington 7. Guilty of handing out some unnecessary free-kicks and bookings, but not a bad effort.

Non-League Player's Name of the Week
Witton Albion's unmistakable Cavel Coo.

Soundtrack of the Day
Eugene McGuinness 'Bold Street'

The MP3 Files
Mark Peters lends an ear to the Plainmoor sounds. "There was plenty of variety on the English Riviera - not a patch on Prestatyn Sands, mind - with some rousing punk rock in the form of Sham 69's 'If The Kids Are United,' modern rock from U2, classic rock from Survivor, some of that modern dancey stuff that the kids like, and even some smooth samba from Sergio Mendes for the oldies! Nice to hear Elvis too - I've always thought he must have had some Welsh blood in him with that fine baritone, like a young Harry Secombe. Overall, a bit patchy but rarely boring!" MP3 verdict: 7/1

Andrew Bennett

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