Saturday 20th October 2007 - U's 1-1 Salisbury: Back to the drawing bored

"...Sheffield United 1, Preston North End 1. Stoke City 2, Sheffield United 4..." You know wheen James Alexander Gordon makes a mistake in reading out the football results that there is something not quite right in the air. The venerable JAG just doesn't DO errors. In fact for years I thought he was a robot that the BBC just programmed with the results: lifted intonation for the winning team, lowered for the losers, neutral if it's a draw.

So his minor blooper just after five o'clock today simply served to confirm that feeling of unease, that otherness, that has been settling over the Abbey in the last few weeks. United can't lose, but they rarely win either, and every game they seem to engineer a different way to the same result. And today you could add to that strangeness the presence of over a thousand new faces, albeit welcome ones, occupying the South Stand with a mixture of curiosity and bewilderment. The SSI has been a triumph, but the team seems to struggle with the weight of their eager-eyed expectation. And Saturday's game was no different...

Also new to the Abbey were the opposition, Salisbury City, who had never met the U's before. They came within one division of United when they moved from the Western League to the Southern League Division One in 1968, but they took seventeen years to reach the Premier Division, by which time United were a well-established Football League club. When the U's were relegated two seasons ago, Salisbury finished twelfth in the Isthmian League Premier, but a switch back to the Southern and two consecutive promotions later, here we were on a level playing field at last.

JQ's team selection showed only two changes from that which drew at Stafford, Lee Boylan making way for Leo Fortune-West due to illness, while Mark Convery was replaced by new Yeovil loanee Darryl Knights, a nineteen-year-old Ipswich product and England Youth international. He lined up in an interesting formation change designed to combat United's recent lack of goals, stationing himself just behind the front two of LFW and Scott Rendell, ready to latch onto any knock-downs or flick-ons with scurrying pace and some rather impressive skill.

The youngster seemed at home in his role immediately with some intelligent runs and positional play, and United set out at a brisk pace on a beautifully sunny and crisp Autumn afternoon. First corner went to the hosts, Darren Quinton's outswinger cleared, and first attempt on goal went to the visitors, Danny Potter blocking Rob Matthews' header from Liam Feeney's cross. Quinton's second corner found the head of Mark Peters, but his long-range nod fell wide of the far post.

On 11, however, United broke the deadlock. Another Quinton corner was half-cleared back to the U's midfielder out on the right, and his cross was truly exquisite, a low curler driven into the six-yard box that was well-nigh impossible to defend. A scrum of players lunged for it, but it was Rendell who got the decisive touch via giant keeper Ryan Clarke and the post. 1-0.

The hosts looked to press home their advantage, and as Knights began to grow in confidence he produced a dazzling nutmeg on Matthew Robinson to eventually gain another corner. Salisbury, however, were not about to crumble and their style and approach was remarkably reminiscent of the team which they followed to promotion last season, our village chums, Histon.

Like the team from Impington, they played a high-energy pressure game, closing down the opposition quickly all over the park, were well organised in a conventional 4-4-2, were combative and physical, and took every opportunity to sling high balls into the box from free-kicks and the prodigious long throw of Ian Herring. And, like Histon, they passed the ball around with the confidence of a team which has got into the best habit in the game, that of winning. They were not averse to giving the ref plenty of backchat, either, perhaps the sort of attitude which recently resulted in their assistant manager Tommy Widdrington's nose enjoying an argument with that nice Garry Hill's forehead.

Ollie Barnes blasted over from distance on 18 and a minute later the visitors' top scorer Matt Tubbs slid wide from a much better chance inside the area. At the other end Courtney Pitt's right-footed cross on 21 found Rendell, but he headed narrowly over, while on 24 Knights' neat turn set himself up for a shot which he slid the wrong side of the post.

United were on top, but there was no denying that the visitors looked dangerous on the break, Feeney setting up Darrell Clarke for a shot over on 28, and on the half hour there was some neat interplay between Pitt and Knights, with the youngster even outshining the little winger for some twinkle-toed footwork, before he lashed a shot wide of the near post.

Thus far ref Simon Beck had been only a minor irritant, with some fairly random free-kick decisions and the odd pompous lecture holding up proceedings, but his card hand finally got twitchy on 33 when LFW expressed his displeasure at an offside decision and was handed an unnecessary booking. And it's so unlike a sweet-natured guy such as Leo to complain about anything (is that OK, big man?)...

The stoic Mark Albrighton needed treatment a minute later when bravely blocking Andrew Sandell's shot, although he soon recovered when he saw Greg Reid's rather scary-looking black rubber gloves. Well, they looked like rubber, anyway. LFW blazed a long-ranger over on 37 as the tackles began to get tastier and a minute later visiting skipper Aaron Cook picked up his side's first booking for a nasty clattering of Rendell from behind. Somehow he still had the nerve to complain at length to the ref about his carding.

Two minutes from half-time Quinton fell awkwardly after a challenge from Tubbs and had to be stretchered from the field, to be replaced by Stephen Reed. Pitt's free-kick found the head of Rendell and his goalbound effort deflected off a Salisbury head to fly just over, but the Man in Black and Brown insisted on awarding a goal-kick.

But that incident was as nothing for controversy compared to what happened just before the interval. Knights, teasing the visitors on the edge of the box, was brought down by Barnes, and the ball ran to Rendell in the left channel. Straightaway he looked up and curled a quite magnificent shot into the far corner past the helpless Clarke. But Mr Beck, having failed to whistle immediately Knights was brought down, had blown a fraction of a second after Rendell had let fly, while the ball was in mid-air. No goal.

Beck was right to disallow the goal because he had blown that whistle. But he had been wrong to rattle that ruddy pea in the first place; a delay of just a couple of seconds to see whether an advantage had accrued to United would have been sufficient to permit one of the best goals seen at the Abbey in many a season. Hmm... that name. You're not related, are you?

The free-kick that United had been awarded was, predictably, wasted as Pitt knocked it sideways far too far to Rob Wolleaston and Salisbury were afforded all the time in the world to dash out and put him off his shot, which dribbled feebly wide. So it was that the U's went into the interval one up, but rueing the fact that they were not further in front. And what's the betting that the ref felt pretty remorseful, too...

Mr Beck had been relatively restrained during part one. But in part two he took main stage to the effect of ruining the whole match with a series of over-the-top look-at-me lectures, card-flashing and some decisions that were just plain wrong. And unfortunately, it was United who let him affect them the most to the extent that they began to think twice about physical challenges, not helped by some pretty blatant overacting by certain Salisbury players (hello, Mr Tubbs).

The card-fest began in earnest on 52, Herring for a challenge on Pitt. Even more serious than a foul to the man in black was any show of dissent, and Dan Gleeson was carded on 54 for pointing out that Salisbury were taking a free-kick from the wrong place. You couldn't make it up.

Albrighton was next for a finger-wagging chit-chat, further holding up a match which had to all intents and purposes ground to a halt anyway, and when the U's skipper chased a ball out of play near halfway a minute later and in so doing bumped gently into Tubbs in front of him, he received a ridiculous yellow too. Never mind ITV phone-ins, let's have an investigation into how this personage ever got to referee at a professional level.

Cook blocked a LFW shot on the hour - yes, there were still some brief flurries of football in between the refereeing display - then there was a booking that was actually (gasp!) justified on 64 for Matthews, who felled Peters with an elbow.

Danny Clay replaced Herring and five minutes later Stephen Smith came on for Knights after a quite delightfully entertaining debut. Unfortunately United's creativity left the field with him and as they sat back too deep on their narrow lead (well it worked for England in Russia, didn't it? Sorry, I missed the last half an hour) Salisbury redoubled their harrying, chasing efforts and stopped them playing altogether.

Sadly they also continued diving, Tubbs producing a beauty worthy of Greg Louganis on 70 when trying to burst through the middle, but even Beck wasn't fooled by that one, although it was a major surprise that he didn't take the opportunity to book him for 'simulation'. Missed a trick there, Simon old boy. Perhaps he was wondering about whether he'd remembered his can of fake tan. Dale Winton never has that problem, eh?

Tubbs was deservedly subbed a minute later in favour of Marvin Brown and the visitors began to get a grip on the match. United seemed to have run out of ideas, and also seemed incapable of passing to each other with any accuracy, so contented themselves with pumping hopeful high balls in the general direction of the two front men. Not one of the five-man midfield could produce any sort of inspiration and now it looked simply like a question of hanging on grimly for the one-goal win. These were not the actions of a team with serious ambitions of play-off glory, and an incompetent ref is simply not a valid excuse.

The man in black missed a chance for his first dismissal on 78 when Cook felled Rendell - not so keen on the red, then? - but he wasted no time in carding Smith for a perfectly valid aerial challenge with Clarke a minute later; no wonder the United players on yellow were afraid to compete. They don't pay refs by the card, do they?

United were finally punished for their second-half sloppiness four minutes from time. A lazy poke forward by Gleeson straight to the opposition was returned to Wolleaston near halfway, and he dithered and took too many touches before seeing his own hopeful punt forward easily charged down by Clay. The ball ran for Sandell, who broke down the left as Gleeson struggled to recover his ground, and his low, curling cross from deep was perfect for Brown to nip in between the centre-backs and tap comfortably home. 1-1.

For all their whingeing, diving and dangerous challenges, Salisbury deserved their equaliser for their tireless efforts, particularly during the second half, and for rising above the off-putting antics of the man in the middle. United had let a lead slip again, and could only hang on for the point as they singularly failed to respond in the closing minutes.

There were boos at the final whistle, a little harsh perhaps for a side which has lost once all season, but they have been letting too many sides off the hook recently (one win in six) after raising our expectations so well earlier on, and they need a major jolt to get them back onto that all-conquering early season form. Fortunately, they have just that next week: the return of Danny Brown, another stint in barracks, and the diversion of a Cup game at Stafford. Perfect. Blow those cobwebs away, Sergeant-Major!

It only remained for the U's fans, old and new, to repair to the pub to watch the egg-chasing game prove that even an official with a multi-angle slow motion replay still can't make a clear-cut decision as England's clinically-obese heroes subsided to defeat against a team whose top scorer was called Percy. Strange game. Strange day.

Statto Corner
Darryl Knights became the first player with that first name to play for United in the post-1970 era. Although Darryl is Jody Craddock's second name.

Knights became the twelfth player to be allocated the squad number 28 since they were introduced in the 1999-2000 season. The highest number of players who have been given one number is the fifteen that have sported the number 27 shirt.

Knights is the eleventh man whose surname begins with the letter 'K' to play for United since 1970. See how many you can remember before looking at the next line!

Tresor Kandol, Jason Kavanagh, Jamie Kearns, Leon Kelly, Richard Key, Alan Kimble, Garry Kimble, Dave Kitson, Amadou Konte, Michael Kyd.

Player Ratings
Potter 7. Reliable as ever and had few real saves to make. No chance with the goal.
Albrighton 8. Close to his usual standard.
Peters 8. Towering presence.
Morrison 7. Steady display.
Gleeson 6. Below par: average defensively, created little going forward.
Wolleaston 6. A player of Rob's skill and experience should be taking this sort of game by the scruff of the neck. Sadly he just faded into the background.
Quinton 6. Half a game in which he did nothing much right or wrong, save for the cross that set up the goal.
Pitt 6. Another one not up to scratch for too much of the game, with far too many wayward passes.
Knights 8. Tremendously exciting debut.
Rendell 8. Never stopped working and he just keeps on finding the net.
Fortune-West 6. Always something of a threat, but his touch seemed to desert him today.

Reed 6. Anonymous second-half performance.
Smith 6. Tidy but hardly a threat to the opposition.

Match Summary
Once again United failed to close out a game that appeared to be won against hard-working but limited opposition, and, poor ref notwithstanding, they lost all sense of direction in the second half. Looks like JQ is right; this team is good, but it needs to be better to mount a proper promotion challenge, and if that means bringing in more new blood, so be it.

Man of the Match
Darryl Knights. As good a debut as any made in the black and amber, the youngster settled immediately and comfortably into his role behind the front two with intelligent running and positioning, and delighted the amber hordes with some exquisite touches of skill that belonged at a much higher level. A shining beacon of excitement until United fell into a collective coma in the second half.

Ref Watch
Beck 0. Hardly noticed him on his previous visit to the Abbey when he had nothing to do in United's 7-0 demolition of Weymouth last season. Couldn't miss him this season when he strutted onto the park with his pale white face and preposterous orangey-brown arms and legs like a reject from a boy band audition. You can always tell a poor ref: they're the ones that both sides think had a bad game. And this character had a stinker: bewildering decisions and non-decisions, chucking his yellow card around as a substitute for any real authority, and destroying the flow of the game with numerous pompous lectures for the players and unnecessary stoppages. If we ever see this posturing, perma-tanned poltroon again, it will be too soon.

Non-League Player's Name of the Week
Barking's positively messianic Fabio Jesus.

Soundtrack of the Day
Nine Black Alps 'Bitter End'

Andrew Bennett

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