Saturday 13th October 2007 - Stafford 1-1 U's: Grounds for improvement

The midges were a novel touch, especially in October. They floated in a silent, swarming cloud around the away terrace like a speech bubble crammed with full stops before drifting off over the low wall behind. They acted as a reminder, as if we needed one, that when it comes to non-League grounds, they don't come any more non-League than Marston Road, Stafford.

Set in a deeply unlovely industrial estate (are there any lovely ones?) on the edge of town, with a rambling allotment set bizarrely in the middle of it, its frontage is dominated by an impressively roomy social club with at least four substantial function rooms that probably make more money than the football team ever will.

The ground behind is another matter. Arranged around the bumpiest, most uneven surface since Stephen Hendry's face, the whole place had the air of flyaway temporariness. At one end sat a flimsy all-seater stand that wasn't there last year which resembled the one at Bristol Rovers' Memorial Ground, but no more than one seat in fifty was occupied. The opposite end was even more extraordinary, an edifice built of scaffolding and wooden benches that looked as if it had been condemned but remarkably was still in use.

The main stand occupied the middle third of one side, flanked by uncovered standing areas which included a bare breeze block wall just in front of the blank side of a house, looking like it had once been attached to a now-demolished terrace. The amber hordes were allocated most of the opposite side, and what an obstacle course it was.

A combination of open terrace and a wooden stand with a corrugated roof that covered part of the same terrace, the 'No Smoking' sign stuck to it was surely unnecessary to any right-thinking folk, because one stray spark and the whole place would surely have gone up in smoke like a piece of kindling. The Gents' were as ghastly as we remembered them, a tiny, roofless trough behind a brick wall devoid of washing facilities but possessing a stench which grew throughout the afternoon like an invisible snowball. A new feature this year was one token Portaloo next door.

Another additional feature this year was two television gantries plonked onto the front of the terrace by those nice people at Setanta, whose bases were encased in black semi-opaque netting and yellow-and-black tape, serving to restrict the away fans' view and make the two corners that side invisible to all but that those who were stationed right at the front.

Welcome, then, to Stafford Rangers, a further reminder, as if we needed one, that the Football League is as far as we are concerned a receding dream that has started to edge tantalising closer again this season but is still some way short of touching distance. Before the players came out, a couple celebrating their wedding anniversary were escorted onto the pitch and released a bundle of balloons into the balmy, gloomy air for some reason, to Cantabrigian chants of 'More balloons than you've got fans!'

The pitifully small attendance hardly helped, but despite their manager Phil Robinson's sour whinge at United for not agreeing to changing the kickoff time, their secretary Mike Hughes hit the nail on the head when he stated in his column that the real culprits are the FA, whose breathtaking lack of consideration towards any club outside the Premiership meant yet another England game scheduled for a Saturday 3pm start. Although anyone who would want to miss seeing their own club in favour of watching a bunch of posturing millionaires strolling to a routine, half-paced non-event of a victory over a Baltic pub team wants their head examining, anyway.

After Tuesday's 1-0 squeak over Rushden, the only changes to the United team were restricted to the front two, as the pairing which finished the match, Scott Rendell and Lee Boylan, started in place of Leo Fortune-West and Marvin Robinson. Stafford (or 'The Boro' as their programme calls them) are having a nightmare of a season, with no home wins and only one on their travels, although the ineptitude of Droylsden and Northwich is keeping them off the bottom.

Their side included two golden oldies in Neil Grayson (42) and player-coach David Oldfield (39), plus two ex-U's in Chris Flynn, who made two fleeting appearances on loan from Crewe last season, and the legendary tough-tackling Irishman Freddie Murray at left wing-back, who responded with a smile and a clap to the United fans' nostalgic chant of 'Psycho, Psycho Fred, Psycho Freddie Murray!'

Freddie has been plagued with injury since he left the Abbey for Northampton, as has another player who took the same route, 'Tiny' Tom Youngs, who was on the bench for Stafford after debuting for them in midweek. Piano-playing Renaissance man Tom is fondly remembered at the Abbey, not least for his part in the legendary four-pronged attack with Messrs Kitson, Riza and Tudor of a few years back, and is now studying sports journalism at the local Uni; and what a fine choice of career he has made. It's finding a job that actually pays you money to write that's the hard part, Tommy...

Stafford's is probably the most difficult surface on which United will play this season, long grass on top of what looked like a scale map of the Scottish Highlands, but United chose to take the footballing road and play through midfield with both barnstorming target men confined to the bench. Courtney Pitt looked like being the danger man early on, teasing and tormenting his marker Richard Sutton at every opportunity and having a shot blocked by the Stafford number two on 6.

Hairless veteran Grayson fired wide for the hosts on 10 and a minute later Rob Wolleaston fizzed one wide for the visitors as both sides strove to carve their way through a congested midfield on the difficult surface. But it was the U's who were in the ascendant and the mercurial Pitt opened the scoring on 14.

It was all his own work, gaining possession wide left and cutting inside, past two men afraid to stick a foot out for fear of conceding a penalty, and despite a slight stumble he placed a right-footed shot sweetly into the near bottom corner from twelve yards that he made look as easy as shelling a pistachio nut. 1-0.

United looked in total control, although they conceded the first yellow card on 17 when Wolleaston felled his opposite number, Ross Draper. They continued to probe and press with Pitt and Boylan particularly mobile targets, but that final killer ball was always one pass away too many.

The U's were forced into an early change when Mark Convery withdrew through injury on 23, Stephen Smith depping seamlessly. Two minutes Dan Gleeson fed Wolleaston in the right channel, and his fiercely driven cross was headed into the net at the far post by a lunging Rendell, only to denied by a harsh, borderline offside decision. If that had been given, surely the game would already have been up for the struggling hosts.

As it was, Rangers were level within three minutes. The Christmas ads have started already on TV (thanks, Mr Disney) and Gleeson handed Stafford a gift-wrapped early present when he leaped to intercept a Draper cross and instead of heading back to Potter at the near post, nodded unaccountably and disastrously across the face of his own goal. Grayson might be so ancient you can only now tell his age via carbon dating, but he doesn't miss open goals and tapped in one of the easiest scores in his seemingly endless career. 1-1.

United almost responded in kind within a couple of minutes. A deflected pass dropped out of the sky for Smith twenty yards outside the box and he controlled deftly, played a neat one-two with Rendell to beat the one man in front of him, and all of a sudden he was clear on goal, one to one with keeper Scott Loach. His carefully placed shot from the edge of the box, however, was blocked by Loach's legs, and although the Boro custodian deserves some credit for the save, Smudger really should have restored his team's lead.

A minute later Smith turned creator with a searching cross into the area that Boylan met with a looping header that flew narrowly over. The little U's striker was then fouled by Cedric Avinel and Smith drilled a low free-kick into a crowded box, but despite a slight deflection Loach was equal to it.

The hosts finally broke from United's sustained pressure and the nippy Marco Adaggio gained his team a corner with a deflected shot. The ensuing corner by Flynn found defender Wayne Daniel rising highest to power a header goalward which was nodded off the line by man on the far post, Wolleaston. The drizzle oozing from the leaden grey sky began to intensify onto the exposed heads of the amber hordes.

There was a lesson, if United needed one, that for all their possession they could take nothing for granted. Loach clutched a Pitt blaster on 36 and a shorter-range effort not long after, then came an even better effort from Wolleaston on 39, galloping forward from midfield like a thoroughbred to smash a stupendous shot from over thirty yards which was screaming into the top corner until impressively tipped over by a diving Loach.

Five minutes later came another U's booking, Mark Peters after a tussle with Grayson, but United finished on top of a half they had dominated, another Smith shot through a congested box deflected wide. Murray gained Stafford a corner near the end but it was the visitors who left the pitch trying to puzzle out how it was that they were not ahead. And don't blame the yellow and blue strip, which had at least yielded a new if predictable chant of 'Yellow and Blue Army.' The drizzle, thankfully, eased off. United had to be careful not to do the same in part two.

Proceedings resumed more or less unchanged, although significant numbers from both sets of fans had shuffled down to their respective other ends of the pitch, or at least as far as the barriers would let them. How terribly non-League. Loach caught a Wolleaston cross-shot and Smith arrowed over a couple of searching inswinging corners, but the killer touch remained elusive.

The flailing Loach punched another Smith corner on 51 to Peters, but he hurried his shot and poked well over the top. A half-clearance by Djoumin Sangare fell to Rendell a couple of minutes later, but he scuffed his shot into the ground and Loach gathered comfortably.

Still United searched for the breakthrough that their territorial superiority merited, and Draper picked up the hosts' first booking just before the hour for an agricultural challenge on Rendell. Two minutes later Pitt wafted a cross into the box and Flynn was penalised for a push into the back of Boylan: a slightly harsh penalty.

At last, perhaps now the amber hordes could relax. Up stepped Boylan himself, but to everyone's astonishment it was too close to the keeper who parried and in the ensuing melee Pitt had a follow-up shot blocked. Decent save, not very good spot-kick. Don't say this wasn't going to be our day after all...?

Boylan fell again in the area not long after, but this time the ref showed no interest, and United almost paid the ultimate price when the hosts broke upfield, Flynn sidestepped Michael Morrison down the right channel and from close range his low shot cannoned off the near post, hit the sprawling Potter on the head and ricocheted high into the air. Fortunately for the U's, Mark Albrighton was first to the scene to head clear from almost under his own bar. Close one.

There was more drama on 68 when Grayson gave chase to a high ball down the middle and although Peters was goalside of the Mezozoic-era marksman, Potter hared out of his box to challenge and the veteran striker crumpled theatrically to the ground. There had been little or no contact, and although ref Tierney gave a free-kick, he did not deem the 'foul' worthy of even a yellow card. Even a keeper of Danny's class has the occasional 'Lionel' movement, bien sur.

The free kick yielded a Flynn corner which was nodded wide by Avinel, then Boylan was replaced by Marvin Robinson, rather unluckily, and United sacrificed subtlety for confrontation. Five minutes later LFW joined Marvin up front in place of Rendell as United, rather misguidedly it must be said, went 'direct' despite the failure of the 'new' front two to have any effect on the game when they started together last Tuesday. The amber hordes feared that their bolt had been well and truly shot.

Marvin and Leo huffed and puffed and won the odd ball in the air, but neither ever looked like scoring. United continued to chase gamely, however, Albrighton blazing wide from a half-clearance on 75, and two minutes later an Avinel foul on Robinson produced a free-kick from which Pitt fired ambitiously over.

The hosts made their only change ten minutes from time, (Very) Oldfield replaced by Nathan Smith. Still United slogged forward searching for the winner, but now using a battering ram instead of a lock pick. Smith lofted a shot over on 84 and both Robinson and Pitt tumbled under challenges in the box for what looked like cases for a penalty at least as convincing as the one which was given. No dice. Loach was announced as Man of the Match. No surprise.

Robinson received the ball with his back to goal a minute later and tried to set up Pitt for a shot, but he was just crowded out, and as the three added minutes loomed, sub Smith shot wide at the other end for the hosts. Murray saw yellow for timewasting, but another unsubtle, hopeful free-kick into the box was comfortably cleared and it was all over.

Strange afternoon. United were so obviously the superior team it was almost embarrassing, but their finishing was not up to scratch and their creativity was distinctly lacking a cutting edge, and on another day they might even have lost. Their penalty shouts looked compelling, but when you gift the opposition an equaliser as soft and stupid as an Andrex sandwich and then miss a penalty, you can only have yourself to blame.

This United side remains extremely hard to beat, but sometimes defeats itself in trying to turn draws into victories. And up front it is almost as if JQ has too many choices now and can't get the right combination, so he tries to give them all a runout in the same game. They have come a long way, but there is still a long way to go. Keep the faith.

Statto Corner
Today's attendance of 741 was the lowest for a league match involving the U's since 5th February 1974, when a crowd of 588 saw United win 2-0 at Rochdale with goals from the legendary Dave Simmons and Brian Greenhalgh. The match took place on a Tuesday afternoon because of the three-day week and the hosts did not have a generator to enable them to play in the evening. The attendance was initially reported as 450, but the programme from our last match at Spotland in November 2004 confirmed the correct official figure.

If you take cup matches into account, the previous record is rather more recent: 426 for United's dismal 3-2 defeat at Dorchester in the FA Trophy on 17th December 2005. Yes, I've tried to forget that one, too...

Freddie Murray's last game for the U's was on the final day of the 2003-04 season, a 1-0 win at Leyton Orient which also saw John Ruddy's first team debut in goal and Claude Le Roy's last game in 'charge'. The only player from the starting XI still at the club is Dan Chillingworth, with Darren Quinton making an appearance from the bench.

Tom Youngs made his last appearance in black and amber on 25th March 2003 in a 2-1 home defeat of Bournemouth. Again, Chilli is the only U's survivor from that day. Tiny Tom has since appeared against United for Northampton (March 2004) and Leyton Orient (March 2005).

Player Ratings
Potter 7. Helpless for the goal, otherwise only troubled by Flynn's effort which hit the post.
Albrighton 8. A tower of strength as usual.
Peters 7. Occasional struggle for pace but solid as ever.
Morrison 7. Picture of reliability, although his distribution doesn't get better.
Gleeson 6. Hideous error gave Stafford their goal and he looked subdued thereafter.
Wolleaston 6. One glorious long-range effort, but some way off his best.
Convery 6. Looked OK until forced off early.
Quinton 7. Plenty of good work and always busy.
Pitt 8. Tormented Stafford down the left all day and scored a corker.
Rendell 6. Mobile and willing but rarely much of a threat.
Boylan 7. Excellent movement and touch and despite the penalty miss United lost something when he was withdrawn.

Smith 8. Best display of a season of one start and ten sub appearances.
Robinson 6. Always gives his best, but subtle he ain't. No more than a mild nuisance to the Stafford defence.
Fortune-West 6. Won the occasional high ball, but his service was intermittent at best.

Match Summary
If Halifax was two points dropped, this was two points tossed spectacularly into the air with triple salcho and pike before hitting the ground with a resounding splat. Better creativity, better finishing and a darned sight more bloody-minded ruthlessness is required for United to build on this season's good work so far, because one win in their last five leaves plenty of room for improvement.

Man of the Match
Stephen Smith. Made a good case for an extended run in the side with a dynamic, positive display. He'd have got a 9 if he had taken that one-on-one chance in the first half, and if he had, United won undoubtedly have won at a canter.

Ref Watch
Tierney 6. Not bad for a Conference rookie, although fell into the old 'I've given them one penalty so I can't give them any more' trap.

Non-League Player's Name of the Week
Leyton's no-comment-required Tobi Oshitola.

Soundtrack of the Day
Puressence 'Drop Down To Earth'

The MP3 Files
Mark Peters lends an ear to the Marston Road sounds. "I like to flick through the music channels on Sky every now and then in search of some Classic Rock - not always with a great deal of success, I must say, although that ruddy Mika pops up all too often! - but one video that always raises a smile in the Peters household is the one for Oasis' 'The Importance Of Being Idle'. And the main reason is the brilliantly entertaining performance of that fine Welsh actor, Rhys Ifans, as a sardonic funeral director. He is the latest in a fine line of thespians from the Principality going back to Anthony Hopkins and Richard Burton. Did you know, by the way, that Tom Cruise, Bette Davis, Anthony Perkins and the lovely Susan Sarandon all have Welsh roots? That surprised you, eh?

"Anyway, I digress. That Oasis song was played at Stafford today amidst a pleasant selection of modern rock-pop like the Kooks, the Thrills, Gorillaz and Franz Ferdinand, not to mention the ever-radiant Debbie Harry and Blondie. There's lovely! I'm not sure about those De La Soul types, though - anyone can talk over someone else's record, can't they? Not at all bad overall, though. Hwyl!" MP3 Verdict: 8/10

Andrew Bennett

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