Friday 31st August 2007 - Weymouth 2-2 U's: Swallows and Dives

"Worlds End." That was the name of the pub that the 168 U's supporters would have sighted on the way to one of the season's most tortuously reached venues, Weymouth's Wessex Stadium, on Friday night. And how apt the name seemed, as the New Forest gave way to mile after mile of narrow country road.

Acres of rolling fields either side showed signs of recent harvest - one field sported a particularly impressive crop of black square plastic bags, how do they grow those? - and deserted request stops in desolate lay-bys did not appear to have seen any human life since the days of the stagecoach. The road signs indicated towns and villages that sounded entirely fictional, and whose names (Piddlehinton, Puddletown, Tincleton) betrayed a theme that was surely a local in-joke.

More worryingly, there were no signs for Weymouth until thirteen miles from the town. Then at last, revelation. A twist in the road, the crest of a hill, and there laid before us was a distant sandy bay, the murky cobalt blue of the sea reflecting the clearing sky as the sun peeked from behind a slate-grey cloud and a lone aeroplane left a streak of puffy white in its wake.

There's something about the seaside that evokes a strange, primal surge of excitement, as the child within us relives again those happy, sun-kissed days of long-lost innocence. Unfortunately for those of the amber hordes who had not decided to make a long weekend of it, that tantalising glimpse of pebble and foam was all they were going to get tonight; Weymouth's ground is located well inland, out of sight of both sea and town.

The team had no easier journey than the fans, spending over five hours on their coach and missing their pre-match meal. Once their destination was reached, however, they were presented with a warm, breezeless evening and a lush, verdant surface, perfect conditions for a late-summer night of football.

Weymouth have expressed a desire to leave the Wessex Stadium for pastures new, although the place is only twenty years old, but all their recent financial upheavals have put paid to that for the time being. As Conference stadia go, it is perfectly adequate, built as a continuous bowl with cover on all four sides, dominated by a towering all-seater main stand. The travelling U's fans were allocated all of one end plus a corner, in contrast to their two previous visits when they got just the corner or only half of the away end.

This part of Dorset has been an unhappy hunting ground for United of late, with 2-1 defeats in both of the last two seasons in league and cup. One visit each in the 1970s and 1980s saw the U's walk away with an FA Cup win both times, but the clubs' rivalry extends right back to the late Fifties. The Terras beat United more often than they lost to them at their old Recreation Ground, and the sides have drawn only once ever in this part of the world.

The first ever Cantabrigian visit to Weymouth, in April 1959, resulted in a 7-0 Southern League drubbing, but freshest in both sets of fans' minds was the similar result at the Abbey just a few short months ago. The travelling amber army was all too happy to remind their opponents of that at every available opportunity. Well how often do you get the chance to sing "Seven-nil to the Cam-ber-idge"??

The intrepid U's fans were joined by a couple of Yeovil supporters as they enjoyed the balmy conditions and the delicious chips from the catering caravan while a couple of amorous swallows swooped and chased each other in and out of the away end. The PA announcer seemed to think we had a player called 'Lee Bolan' (maybe he rode a white swan to get here?) but the surprise team news was that Michael Morrison had been dropped in favour of Darren Quinton, allowing Mark Albrighton to drop into the back three alongside Mark Peters and Gavin Hoyte. It was the first time United had lined up without MM since they beat Exeter 2-1 way back on 4th April 2006; remarkably, only Peters, Stephen Smith and Courtney Pitt from that team remain with the club now. Where is good old Fola mooching lazily around now?

Following Weymouth's traumatic financial downsizing midway through last season, their best-paid players have left and there were a few unfamiliar names in their line-up. A few old hands remained, though, in Simon Weatherstone, Ashley Vickers and Stuart Beavon, along with ex-Watford man Paolo Vernazza and rangy striker Jefferson Louis, who seems to change clubs as often as Kieron Dyer picks up injuries, but had scored three times in five previous games against the U's for Oxford and Stevenage.

The match started at a frenetic pace and the nippy James Coutts set up Louis for the hosts' first shot within twelve seconds, but the big man couldn't keep it down. Within a couple of minutes he had threatened again when Sido Jombarti headed a corner goalward and he was put off flicking into the net from point blank range by the close attentions of Leo Fortune-West. Then on 6 Louis had a header parried by Danny Potter; United's late arrival had, it seemed, caused them to start sluggishly and Weymouth looked determined to take full advantage, getting the ball forward over the top as quickly as possible and throwing substantial numbers forward, led by the fleet-footed Louis, Coutts and Beavon.

After an initial battering United managed their first effort at goal on 9, Rob Wolleaston touching a free-kick to Stephen Reed, but his low effort was blocked by the terracotta-shirted wall. Four minutes later they could and perhaps should have taken the lead, as Dan Gleeson's cross from the right found Lee Boylan ghosting in for an unchallenged header inside the six-yard box. Home keeper Jason Matthews blocked desperately, and when Quinton followed up for the tap-in, there was Vickers to clear off the line.

Most of the play, however, was up the United end. Like Woking and Ebbsfleet, Weymouth went man-for-man with the U's and wing-backs Gleeson and Pitt found themselves all but marked out of the game. They also struggled to cope with their defensive duties due to the sheer speed of the hosts' breaks, with Coutts in particular showing Gleeson a clean pair of heels on a regular basis.

Weymouth swarmed all over the U's like tasteless tattoos creeping up David Beckham's arms. Potter clutched Coutts' header from a Beavon cross on the quarter hour, and Beavon blasted over on 18. Gradually, though, United began to pull themselves together. An excellent run from Quinton on 23 culminated in an underpowered shot into Matthews' hands, Louis responded with a shot over on 25, and LFW nodded over on 29.

On the half hour came the hosts' best chance yet. Once again it was the ball over the top, to which Louis gave chase down the right channel, with Peters snapping at his heels. It was quickly apparent that the veteran centre-back was beaten for pace against the lanky spindleshanks, but Potter made to dash from goal then changed his mind after a few paces. Louis continued his run and to both United players' relief pulled his angled shot wide of the far post as they stood helplessly, fingers crossed. A rare piece of shoddy defending from the normally Fonz-like U's back line.

Even the swooping swallows showed some nervousness and flew, bizarrely, into the gents' toilets at the back of the away end. Those must be the most housetrained birds in the world; I trust they remembered to flush afterwards. They didn't come out and advise us to give it ten minutes, anyway.

Reed crossed for LFW to shoot into Matthews' arms on 34, Peters blocked a Beavon shot on 35 and Albrighton intercepted a Jombarti effort two minutes later. The United centre-backs truly were earning their money tonight, but they could have done with a little more help from their colleagues, of whom Reed looked subdued, Wolleaston drifted aimlessly and the wing-backs were too often AWOL.

The manner of Weymouth's breaking of the deadlock on 39 was therefore totally predictable. Another long ball over the United defence down the right channel found Hoyte out of position and Pitt too far forward to cover; Louis galloped in on goal as Peters gave chase vainly, and this time his fierce drive from the angle of the penalty box fizzed low to Potter's right. The United no.1 got a hand to it, but could only deflect it high into the back of the net. 1-0.

United strove gamely to respond as Gleeson had a shot blocked by Weatherstone and Boylan blazed over. They came closest when Reed's cross found Albrighton, and his header was cleared from inside the six-yard box by Weatherstone.

At least the U's had finished the half better than they had started it. Now they had to find a way to get a little more pattern into their game, avoid Weymouth's smothering and get some quality ball in to the strikers, while remaining alert to the hosts' quick breakouts. JQ, your time starts... now! And no cribbing from your coaching manuals.

The many Weymouth supporters who had gathered at the end of the side terrace nearest to the away end, which their side had been attacking, took the opportunity to change ends, leaving the old chap carrying their drum standing on his own. Perhaps he didn't have the energy to carry it to the other end; whatever, he remained in splendid, if intermittently noisy, isolation throughout the second half. What a trouper.

United coped better with Weymouth in the early stages of part two, but at the expense of their own attacking threat as both sides threatened to cancel each other out. First booking of the night came on 53 for Reed after a foul on Weatherstone. Beavon fired over for the hosts after a block by Hoyte, then Reed essayed a blaster which flew just too high.

The hour mark passed, and JQ decided it was time for a change. The mostly ineffective Pitt, unable to shake off his marker, was withdrawn in favour of Smith with Reed moving wide. The hosts' first booking followed shortly afterwards, Joel Kitamirike for a foul on Boylan, then out of the blue on 63 the U's were level.

Rob Wolleaston floated a free-kick from wide left to the far post, Albrighton nodded into the middle, and there was Big Leo receiving with his back to goal to swivel faster than a spinning top to lash past Matthews before he could blink. 1-1!

LFW may lumber like an elderly tyrannosaurus compared with some of his nippier colleagues, but by 'eck he can do a good impression of a whirling dervish when he turns. A proper striker.

The only sour note was struck when a young United supporter was ejected by two burly police officers for lobbing a loo roll onto the roof of the net. At least it wasn't a used one. The roll remained untouched for the rest of the game.

Count Quinnula went for the jugular with two more substitutions almost immediately, as the young, fresh legs of Scott Rendell and Mikey Hyem replaced Boylan and Quinton. Potter clutched a Louis header on 66, Wolleaston had a shot blocked by Anton Robinson on 67 and, sensing United's growing dominance, Weymouth player-boss Jason Tindall introduced two replacements of their own, Nick Crittenden for Coutts and Gavin McCallum for Beavon.

They could not, however, prevent United from taking the lead on 70. Rendell had made an immediate impression, just like against Ebbsfleet, with his tireless, probing running, and when Smith arced a long throw into the box, LFW flicked on and found his new strike colleague with his back to goal and Vickers breathing down his neck. In a trice Rendell had produced a stunning copy of LFW's goal of just a few minutes before, turning and hammering past Matthews, who again did not have time to even twitch. 2-1.

Once again United had battled back from a goal down, and their substitutes had made a dramatic difference. Now another victory appeared to be within their grasp. But despite their mediocre start to the season, Weymouth are no mean team and within two minutes they almost equalised. Weatherstone advanced from midfield, looked up and from fully thirty yards produced a stupendous thunderbolt of a shot which was screaming just under the bar until tipped brilliantly over by Potter.

Weatherstone's next shot following Vernazza's ensuing corner was less accurate, flying over the top. United roared back, now finding the space down the flanks that had hitherto been denied them. On 73 Smith broke down the left and his cross to the far post found LFW unmarked; his acrobatic header was sneaking in at the near post until spectacularly scooped away by a diving Matthews.

With Hyem, Smith and a revitalised Wolleaston buzzing around in the middle, Reed wreaking havoc down the left and Rendell pulling the hosts' defence all over the place like a rampant octopus, the U's were now firm favourites for the three points. Weymouth made their last change on 76, Conal Platt replacing Kyle Critchell, and Reed had a free-kick clutched by Matthews two minutes later. But just as the visitors seemed to be cruising to victory, ref Phillips stuck his oar in.

The United offside trap suffered a rare failure on 82, although JQ claims that it was the linesman who failed, and Vickers bounded clear on goal after a bouncing ball. Wolleaston dashed back to cover and as he caught up with the Weymouth defender, Vickers tumbled theatrically to the ground in the box. The dive looked feeble even from the away end, but not to Mr Phillips, who awarded the spot-kick.

Up stepped Louis. His penalty was not especially well struck and Potter dived low to his right to block; sadly, the ball rebounded straight to the taker and he was able to prod home before any United defender could reach him. 2-2.

Suddenly Weymouth were revitalised and now both teams went at each other hammer and tongs for the winner. McCallum shot over on 85, Smith dragged one wide a minute later. Louis headed wide, Reed had a free-kick cleared and Vickers was booked on 89 for a foul on the United wingman.

The additional four minutes continued the end-to-end action. The hosts almost won it when Platt produced a coruscating run from deep on the left, beating three men, cutting inside and firing for the near top corner which looked a goal all the way until marvellously palmed behind by a diving Potter. Great save.

There was still time for Reed to break down the left one more time, and his cross sought out Rendell sprinting unmarked at the far post, but it was just the wrong height for a shot or a header and although the United sub threw himself heroically at it, it bounced off him and wide to safety.

The two teams had fought each other to a standstill. Over the full ninety minutes a draw was probably a fair result, but the manner of the equalising penalty left a bad taste in the mouth, especially as it had come at a time when the U's were on top and looking to seal the match with a third. But Weymouth also deserve credit for the positive manner of their play and their never-say-die attitude.

So, still unbeaten, and top of the table, if only overnight. But after three consecutive draws another win would be useful, particularly with a tough trip to Exeter next Saturday. You thought Weymouth was at the end of the world? Exeter is at the end of the universe...

Player Ratings
Potter 8. Will be disappointed with the first goal, but atoned with two 'worldie' saves later on.
Albrighton 8. Consistent excellence.
Peters 7. Tower of strength, although caught out for pace a couple of times.
Hoyte 7. Out of position for Weymouth's opener, otherwise continuing to improve.
Gleeson 6. Struggled to make an impact against his marker.
Wolleaston 6. Disappeared for long periods, livened up later on.
Reed 7. Subdued in the middle, he blossomed impressively when relocated to wide left.
Quinton 7. Will be first name on the teamsheet if he can display his dynamism on a consistent basis.
Pitt 6. Below-par both defensively and creatively.
Boylan 7. Plenty of intelligent running, although his service wasn't the best.
Fortune-West 8. A master in action.

Smith 7. Shrewd, intelligent contribution.
Rendell 8. Superb impact again, he pulled the Terras' defence all over the place.
Hyem 7. Little bundle of energy who looks to have a great future ahead of him.

Match Summary
A breathless thriller of a match which produced a fair result in unfair circumstances: Weymouth's equaliser was the result of a blatant dive.

Man of the Match
Leo Fortune-West. Led the line commandingly, scored one, made one and unlucky not to notch the winner.

Ref Watch
Phillips 4. Awarded a few unnecessary free-kicks, then crowned it all with a desperately poor penalty decision. Not good enough.

Non-League Player's Name of the Week
Sileby's legendary-sounding Adam Slaymaker.

Soundtrack of the Day
Bearsuit 'More Soul Than Wigan Casino'

The MP3 Files
Mark Peters lends an ear to the Wessex Stadium sounds. "Bit of a case of deja vu here today, isn't it! Like Woking, Weymouth go for the latest chart sounds, which meant another airing for the likes of Maroon 5, Hellogoodbye and Mark Ronson. Reverend & The Makers make quite a rousing racket, and Paulo Nutini has such a soulful voice he might almost be Welsh. I could have done without the dancey rubbish like 'Destination Unknown' and that stupid Dario G thing, but it's always good to hear good, rousing Celtic voices like the Proclaimers shouting to the heavens! I wasn't impressed by some second-rate local version of 'The Boys Are Back in Town,' and that Fatboy Slim song has been worked to death more often than Tom Jones' leather trousers, but the 'Theme From Superman' was at least different and the runout song from Hard-Fi was reasonably uplifting, I suppose. Not in the same class as the Treorchy Male Voice Choir, mind you! Hwyl!" MP3 verdict: 6/10

Andrew Bennett

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