U's 0-1 Leicester: Man of Good Fortune
Monday 6th August 2007 - U's 0-1 Leicester: Man of Good Fortune
We all need some comfort in our lives. When we are children, it takes the form of a favourite blanket, Barbie doll, teddy or similar cuddly toy (although it's more likely to be an iPod or a Wii these days). Then we grow up, slightly, to become football supporters, and we discover a new source of comfort out on the pitch: the big, bad target man centre forward.
No matter how poorly the team is struggling, their totem is out there, laying waste to the opposition with flailing legs, flying elbows and flashing head, always offering hope that one flash of brilliance and/or violence could get his side back in the game. United has a proud history of such characters: the battering ram Jim Hall, the borderline-psychotic Sammy Morgan, the beanpole's beanpole George Reilly, the living deity that is Dion Dublin, the suave, elegant Sir Steve Butler, the untamed brutality of Trevor Benjamin, the Big Ginger Giant Dave Kitson, dear old Shaggy, and most recently, Robbie Simpson. Just their presence on the team sheet brought a warm glow of optimism to black and amber hearts.
Of course, when big men go wrong, they go horribly wrong; recall the names White, Turner, Webb, Horwood and Rigby and shudder with horror. They took us to the Discomfort Zone.
On Monday night a new contender emerged. Now 36, we all know and respect Leo Fortune-West, who has roughed up United defenders playing for Gillingham, Brentford, Cardiff and Doncaster, and scored three times in five games against us since 1995. Newly released by Rushden and leading the amber line on trial, could he be the latest Big Number 9 to carry our hopes into a new season?
We hadn't see opponents Leicester City around these parts since March 1993, but the memories of our battles the previous season still live long in the memory, starting with an awesome 5-1 Abbey victory, the Beck team at its steamrollering best, and finishing with a nightmarish 5-0 defeat at Filbert Street in the playoffs, Beck exposed at his inflexible worst.
United's home record against the Foxes is pretty poor: two wins in seven League games, one friendly and one testimonial, unless you count Abbey United's 4-0 trouncing of their Colts team in the United Counties League of 1948. The clubs have never met in a cup competition, a fact as curious and inexplicable as the popularity of that ghastly 'Cupid's Chokehold' song.
Leicester are now managed by Martin Allen, having done a sterling job in failing to get Milton Cuckoos (how long until they are rebranded "Team:mk"?) promoted last season and now splashing Milan Mandaric's money in all directions. He brought the proverbial mix'n'match side to the Abbey, with some reasonably well-known names (Matty Fryatt, Darren Kenton, Alan Maybury, Patrick Kisnorbo fresh from driving Australia to mediocrity in the Asian Cup) and a fair smattering of youthful obscurities (Eric Odhiambo? Andy King? No, not that one...).
Big Leo started up front for the U's with Dan Chillingworth while Darren Quinton got another chance to cement a starting place in midfield alongside Rob Wolleaston and returning proud dad Danny Brown. The third Danny, Mr Potter, was restored between the sticks behind the back three/five which started at Bedford.
It was a pleasant, shirt-sleeved evening and the living was similarly easy out on the pitch in a tepid opening spell, with United marginally in the ascendant. LFW immediately looked like a man who knows exactly what he's doing, and on 6 he controlled Courtney Pitt's cross with his back to goal and set up Dan Gleeson with a free shot from ten yards which fizzed across goal and wide of the far post.
The Big Man gained his side a free-kick two minutes later, and Pitt's shot at goal was accurate but a little lacking in pace; however, peroxided keeper Conrad Logan did his best to make it look like a 100 mph piledriver by shovelling it unconvincingly around the post like a puppy covered in mud.
United came even closer to breaking the deadlock from the ensuing corner. Pitt curled it across, Mark Albrighton headed back across goal, Gavin Hoyte swung and missed, and facing the wrong way, Fortune-West just failed to manoeuvre his back-heel into goal from inside the six yard box due to the sheer volume of bodies in the way.
Everything attack-wise revolved around LFW. On 14 Brown sent Pitt scampering down the wing, he found Quinton's forward run, and he set up the towering trialist for a snap shot from a difficult angle that flew over the top. Less than five minutes later Leo had to adjust to playing with a different strike partner as Chilli was forced off with an ankle ligament injury (another one bites the dust, dammit) and replaced by Scott Rendell.
The visitors finally managed an attempt on goal on 20, Dutch import Sergio Hellings spoiling a neat approach move with a toepoke wide, and his finishing was no better a couple of minutes later in blasting over the top. As Leicester began to wake up in response to their manager's bawling and United's new strike duo struggled to build an understanding, the game degenerated into a rather turgid midfield battle which was about as interesting as the Gabriel Heinze transfer tussle. Without the swearing in Spanish.
Rendell lashed horribly over on 26, Pitt failed to find any of his target men after robbing Maybury on the half hour, and the game at least took on a fairly competitive edge when Brown and Kisnorbo clashed, both physically and verbally, but both teams looked disjointed. Quinton was the pick of United's midfield, Brown was solid, but Wolleaston was utterly anonymous. The wing-backs were mostly subdued while the back three was rarely tested at all.
Last shot of the half went to Leicester, Hellings poking a rebound wide after Stephen Hughes' initial shot was blocked. The only real positive aspect of the 45 had been Fortune-West, still fit and willing and a master of his craft. Would that he had had a strike partner of the same quality.
Only change for part two was Levi Porter in place of King for the visitors, and otherwise the contest remained unchanged. First chance seven minutes in fell to LFW, Rendell laying back to him, and his low skimmer from the 'D' produced a decent if not too difficult save from Logan, sprawling in an alarming lime green shirt with one black sleeve that made it look as if he was wearing one long gardening glove.
Some shambolic defending on 56 saw Morrison and Hoyte both dwelling too long on the ball in their own six-yard box, and when the latter's attempt at a clearance fell to Fryatt, he was fortunate that Potter was alert to make a fine close-range reaction save. Just before the hour the subs started in earnest.
Mark Convery replaced the church-mouse Wolleaston, Mark Peters came on for Hoyte, and Fortune-West was withdrawn after a fine display of the target man's art to be replaced by Stephen Reed, whose positioning wide left allowed Pitt to move up front with Rendell. Billy McKay replaced Ricky Sappleton up front for the Foxes.
A nice move on 62 saw Albrighton send Rendell galloping down the left channel. His cross found Pitt, but he took too long to shoot and saw his effort charged down. Brown was brought down following up just outside the box, and Convery curled the free-kick just over the bar.
Leicester began to look a bit brighter on the break. Fryatt turned and shot just wide on 65, and two minutes later Hughes flashed a header across goal. Reed's through ball set up Pitt for a shot on 71 but again he couldn't get his shot past the covering defender, and Rendell's follow-up cross evaded everyone in an amber shirt in the area.
Stephen Smith replaced Quinton after another fine, energetic display, while the spendidly-monikered Lathaniel Rowe-Turner depped for Alan Sheehan for the visitors. Another sub, McKay, had the next chance, piledriving wide on the break, and the same man saw another effort blocked away for a corner by a covering Peters a couple of minutes later.
It is always a pleasure to be able to write about something that had hitherto seemed impossible, and on 75 I must report to your disbelieving eyes that a high ball down the middle by Reed saw the diminutive Pitt causing havoc with his aerial power against Logan and his defenders. Without the aid of a pogo stick. The ball ran loose to Rendell, but although the goal was open, he had a couple of blue shirts in his way just outside the box and his attempt to curl his shot around them saw him find only the side netting as 'Mini-Leo' Pitt called for a cross into the middle.
More replacements ensued, Michael Hyem on for Brown and Leicester's Joe Magunda for Kenton (are the stars out tonight? Er, no). United's brief spell of pressure was followed by one for their opponents, and on 79 a game which had seemed to be heading for an inevitable scoreless draw was suddenly awash with a goal.
And a very poor goal it was too. Hughes' corner was not dealt with by the U's defence, they tried to clear it and come out at the same time, and when Reed attempted to nod it back to Potter, he could only find a cluster of Leicester players between him and his keeper, one of whom, Fryatt, trundled it gratefully home. 1-0.
Odhiambo was replaced by Ryan Beswick for the visitors. United were caught on the break on 83, but Potter stood strong and denied Fryatt, and when Beswick popped up for the rebound his bobbler across goal was cleared from the line by Gleeson. The United man picked up an injury in his acrobatics and was replaced shortly afterwards by Josh Coulson, Morrison moving to wing-back.
As the day's light and the match began to fade, Peters moved up front to enliven proceedings and Jordan Collins came on for Albrighton. The big Welshman even had a chance to level the scores just before the end when set up by a much-improved Rendell, but his finish bore all the grace and finesse of Neil Warnock with a nagging toothache, and the ball soared unerringly towards the United log cabins.
It summed up the game, really, and it is still far from certain what United's strongest line-up is... and indeed if we will have any fit strikers. Here's hoping Leo signs. He's a better attacking force than a Transformer, any time.
Player Ratings
Potter 7. Not his busiest day, but did what he had to do well.
Morrison 7. Quietly efficient.
Albrighton 7. Wise old head.
Hoyte 6. Didn't let anyone down.
Gleeson 7. Pretty well involved up and down the park.
Brown 7. Steady game and plenty of quality shouting.
Wolleaston 6. In danger of becoming the new David 'Mr Invisible' Bridges if he doesn't get into the heart of the action more.
Quinton 8. Another excellent, dynamic pre-season display.
Pitt 7. Some good moments, although plenty of room for improvement in the crossing department, and made a decent fist of playing up front too.
Fortune-West 8. Imperious.
Chillingworth 6. Industrious in his brief time on the pitch.
Rendell 7. Improved as the game went on.
Peters 7. Solid at the back and an unconventional menace up front.
Convery 7. Usual calm passing self.
Reed 6. Made a decent contribution.
Smith 6. Slotted in adequately.
Hyem 6. A few characteristically tigerish challenges.
Coulson 6. Did nothing wrong in his short time in the action.
Collins 6. Brief, competent turn.
Match Summary
United succumbed to a close-run, honourable defeat in their last pre-season friendly, the highlight of which was an impressive hour from veteran trialist Leo Fortune-West. We need strikers because they seem to be dropping like flies at the moment.
Man of the Match
Leo Fortune-West. Masterclass in target man play without having to resort to unnecessary violence. Hopefully we'll see some of that later in the season.
Ref Watch
Horwood 7. A bit of a fusspot at times, but not sufficient to spoil the spectacle.
Soundtrack of the Day
Architecture In Helsinki 'Heart It Races'
Andrew Bennett
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