St Neots 1-4 U's: Easy squeezy
Tuesday 17th July 2007 - St Neots 1-4 U's: Easy squeezy
"Squeeze! Squeeze!" The insistent cry rang out through the cool evening air, over the fields and turned soil of the Cambs/Beds border. "Squeeze!"
What was the purpose of such an ululation? An aerobic instruction, a request for more tomato sauce, a show of support for the 'Up The Junction' new wave popsters? Only Martin Patching knew. The St Neots Town goalkeeper shouted the word over and over again during his 45 minutes on the pitch against the Mighty U's, to no discernible effect upon his team-mates. But it did help him keep a clean sheet. Hmm... now repeat after me, Danny...
United's second pre-season friendly took them to Rowley Park, for their first and last visit to the little United Counties League ground. The U's had met St Neots a total of eight times between their first meeting in 1934 (a 2-1 win for the then St Neots & District in the Amateur Cup) and their last fifty years later (a 2-0 friendly win for United in August 1984), but the hosts were then still playing at their old Shortsands ground in town. The most memorable meeting was an FA Cup encounter at the Abbey in 1957 which United won 6-2 with braces from three all-time greats, Wilf Mannion, Brian Moore and Russell Crane.
Shortsands' landlords sold the ground for housing in 1987 (plus ca change) and Town disbanded, re-forming two years later and moving to the out-of-town Rowley Park in fields near the A428 in 1992. The move has turned out to be relatively short-lived due to a massive housing development all around it, romantically named Loves Farm, which will result in another short relocation to a new home in February 2008. In fact the cover of Tuesday's match programme bore illustrations of the club's putative new base, complete with an idealised crowd of hundreds of excited spectators.
St Neots' average attendance is rather less than that, but their car park was full to overflowing for the visit of their illustrious county neighbours; so full, in fact, that getting out again would be akin to solving a Chinese puzzle where you have to move the individual tiles in the right order. If the visitors thought the whole debris-strewn area resembled a building site, that's because it was. Bizarrely, the only lavatorial facilities at the ground were in the clubhouse bar situated outside the turnstiles, causing a little buttock clenching on the terraces. Squeeze! Squeeze!
Rowley Park can boast one modest 200-seat stand with covered standing areas to each side running the full length of the pitch. The remaining sides are uncovered, but after a minor shower at the start of the game the elements relented save for an unseasonably cold wind in the second half. The pitch wore its grass long, and it was uneven and bumpy to boot, which was to stifle United's attempts to play flowing passing football, in the first half at least.
So who were to be the dramatis personae tonight? United took a full squad except for Danny Brown and Mark Albrighton; didn't want to frighten the locals. Danny Potter started in goal behind a back three of Mark Peters, Gavin Hoyte and Adam Davies (above), the latter making a welcome return for his first start since the defeat at Dagenham on 28th August last year. The usual wing-backs, Dan Gleeson and skipper-for-the-night Courtney Pitt, flanked a speedy midfield of Stephen Smith, Darren Quinton and Mark Convery in the playmaker role, behind what may well be the season's starting front two of Scott Rendell and Lee Boylan.
St Neots are managed by ex-Spurs striker Scott Houghton, who once 'enjoyed' a loan spell at the Abbey but never played due to injury, while there was one familiar face in their line-up in the shape of Barrington 'Baz' Belgrave, once of Yeovil and Southend but whose professional career seems to have stalled at the age of 26, now returned to near his Bedford birthplace.
United were on top from the start with plenty of movement and interpassing despite the lush surface. Gleeson looked particularly lively down the right, knocking the ball past his man like a conventional winger, and Boylan soon began to demonstrate his knack of being in the right place at the right time like the fox in the box he is.
Boylan set up Rendell early on, but he fizzed his shot a couple of yards wide from near the penalty spot. A couple of searching Gleeson crosses were cut out with Boylan ready to pull the trigger, and when the little hitman did receive the ball to his feet from Pitt, he flashed his effort just over after a little soft shoe shuffle to evade his marker.
The hosts continued to try to 'squeeze' their opposition and the finishing touch continued to evade the men in amber. Just past the halfway point of the 45 Boylan slammed a shot goalward but saw it blocked by a dark-and-light blue quartered shirt, then he finally managed to force a save from Patching with a low drive that the keeper smothered low to his right.
St Neots' forward raids were few and far between as Convery pulled the strings for United. Smith tried a blaster narrowly over on 35, Peters met a Pitt corner but nodded too high, then at last it seemed the U's must take a deserved lead when Quinton raced through onto Boylan's through ball, only for his tentative prod to be denied by the advancing Patching.
Convery (above) also found himself a clear shooting chance from another Gleeson cross but screwed his shot as horribly wide as Jade Goody's mouth, accompanied by similar language from the frustrated amber faithful.
Belgrave created the hosts' one decent chance with a through ball for Mark Franklin, but Davies stood his ground and dispossessed his man with aplomb. The defence had very little to do all half, while the midfield was industrious, Gleeson particularly dangerous although Pitt looked a trifle ring-rusty, while up front Rendell looked raw but promising alongside the classy Boylan. Goalless at half-time, a little disappointingly given United's territorial dominance but nothing to get too het up about at this early stage. Cool for cats.
JQ made six changes for part two. Michael Morrison and Josh Coulson replaced Davies and Peters, Rob Wolleaston and Michael Hyem entered midfield in place of Smith and Quinton, Stephen Reed depped for Pitt out wide, and Dan Chillingworth came on for Rendell. The energetic running of Hyem, Reed and Chilli very soon began to cause St Neots real problems, Chilli nodding a Reed corner over within a couple of minutes and Reed blasting over soon after.
Then on 53 the floodgates finally burst (with apologies to readers in Yorkshire for the analogy). The goal was simplicity itself, Potter clearing his lines to Boylan on halfway, and advancing and looking up, the goal poacher became creator when his exquisite pinpoint cross from deep found an unmarked Chilli at the far post to guide his header coolly across the diminutive substitute keeper and into the bottom corner. 1-0.
The couple of hundred-strong amber horde settled back for an avalanche of goals. Unfortunately the next one, on the hour, went to the hosts as Belgrave's diagonal ball found Ryan Francis sneaking between Morrison and Potter to poke calmly home. 1-1.
That was the signal for JQ's second tranche of changes. New signing Luke McShane, the oldest looking 21-year-old in the world, replaced Potter in goal, Jordan Collins came on for Hoyte in defence, promising youngster Robbie Willmott replaced Gleeson wide right, and Andy Hughes, trialist who also played in the Mildenhall game, took over from Boylan up front.
The changes bore immediate fruit. After some interplay on the left with Reed and Chilli, Convery was afforded too much time and space on the edge of the St Neots box, and as Hyem darted into the area, his flighted cross was placed perfectly onto the head of the smallest player on the pitch to ghost in and nod home unmarked from close range. 2-1.
Within four minutes it was three. This time Willmott was the creator with a Stanley Matthewsesque push-and-run down the right. His low cross just evaded Hughes at the near post, the keeper got the faintest touch, but he could not stop it reaching the inrushing Hyem who gleefully bundled home his second of the night. 3-1.
The influx of youth and a few tiring home legs meant that United now looked like scoring every time they attacked. The hosts' mini-keeper was found out again on 70 (never said "Squeeze",' did he?) when Reed's wickedly whipped inswinger from wide right was bundled home from close in by Coulson for 4-1.
Still the youthful U's went for it. On 76 Reed's superb thunderbolt from out left was tipped onto the underside of the bar by the keeper, the ball just staying out, and five minutes later another low Willmott cross looked to have set Hyem up for his hat-trick, only to be denied by a point-blank stop from the man between the sticks.
Then Chilli broke clear down the left channel and, as the overworked goalie sprinted out to meet him, his delicate flick looked goalbound until it was hooked acrobatically clear from under the bar by a covering defender who looked frankly over the line when he cleared it. There was still time for Coulson to meet a Reed corner with a towering, unchallenged header which he somehow managed to put wide, and for Hughes to break free down the right but hammered a shot narrowly wide of the far post when just a touch of bend would have found the net.
So all ended happily for the U's against willing but outclassed opposition, with the youngsters showing their elders the way to do it with some exuberant, pacy attacking in the second half. Good luck to St Neots in their push for promotion; Histon could do with some local rivals.
Waiting for the car park to clear afterwards, the floodlit, exposed earth of the surrounding building plots with their wooden crosses atop gave the appearance of a freshly dug graveyard. Hopefully, the foundations that this current crop of United players is laying down will contribute to the demise of many Conference rivals this season. And if all else fails, don't forget: squeeze!
Player Ratings
Potter 6. Caught out once, otherwise hardly anything to do.
Davies 7. Good return, looking mobile going forward and solid defensively.
Peters 7. Never looked troubled.
Hoyte 6. Strong defender, looks like he needs to work on his distribution.
Gleeson 8. Dynamic and at times looked like an old-fashioned winger.
Smith 7. Busy, decent effort.
Convery 8. Fulcrum of the side and rarely wasted a ball.
Quinton 7. Committed and involved, wasted United's best chance of the first half.
Pitt 6. Never looked quite 'on it,' but early days.
Rendell 7. Many similarities to the Robbie Simpson of this time last year; let's hope he can mature as quickly.
Boylan 8. Always finds the right position and will surely outscore all comers this season.
Morrison 7. Solid and competent as ever.
Coulson 7. Not terribly busy but a mature performance.
Wolleaston 7. Quietly reliable as he slips into gear for the roads ahead.
Hyem 8. Terrific display from the pocket rocket.
Reed 8. That sweet left foot and hard work will give Pitt a run for his place this term.
Chillingworth 8. Tireless as ever and might have had a hat-trick.
McShane 6. Hardest thing he had to do was stifle a yawn.
Collins 6. Slotted in comfortably.
Willmott 7. Very promising display from CRC's outstanding prospect.
Hughes 6. Tried so hard for little reward.
Match Summary
It was the youngsters who shone brightest in a low-key friendly that only really caught fire in the second half. Still and all, a useful warm-up for the many challenges to come.
Man of the Match
Mark Convery. Always on the move, probing, prompting and pushing with great quality of pass, the wee man looks like the sort of playmaker this club has needed since the likes of Alex Russell departed.
Ref Watch
O'Sullivan 8. Never noticed him, and you can't get higher praise for a ref than that.
Soundtrack of the Day
The White Stripes 'Icky Thump'
Andrew Bennett
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